The Autistic Me

It has been a busy couple of weeks, with my classes finishing their final exams and my wife and I rushing to fix up our "old" house so the sale can close and we can focus on the "new" (really, actually new) house. Just as I was ready to gather some thoughts and blog, we had the events of Newtown, CT. The mention of Autism Spectrum Disorders and violence (you can search on Google, I won't bother with the links) have raised some difficult issues — and I didn't want to comment on some of the articles about mental health and violence because, while less upsetting than the horrific events, were still upsetting. We'll have more stories about the "severely" autistic with aggressive personality disorders. Maybe someone will dredge up the various "autism defense" stories, citing the several criminal cases in which autism was a defense for horrible acts. Now, I'm only in a slightly better place to comment than I was a few days ago....

Sometimes, for no good reason, my legs and arms tremor. Okay, there is a good reason (a palsy in one arm, possible damage to a leg) but that doesn't mean I can't be annoyed by the tremors. Last night, my right arm was trembling, starting while we were finishing dinner and continuing after I went to bed. My leg was soon shaking, too. Add in some back cramps and knee pain — not much sleep for me or my wife. I slept on the floor for a few hours, leading me to anticipate next week's arrival of our new living room furniture. My body doesn't respond to my thoughts. Sometimes, I can sit and concentrate until the shaking stops. It is like meditation, focusing on the need to be still. I'm not someone to sit still normally, but still is much better than vibrating when you want to sleep. I have tried various tips to reduce the palsy episodes. For a time, I was on medications for seizures and similar conditions. I can't recall if those medications helped with the t...

Earlier this week, I was asked by a young man how knowing I am "autistic" changed my life. His big question was if I would have not made some choices if I had known the diagnosis years ago. Is "The Autistic Me" a different me, making different choices? That's a good question, but I don't have a good answer. I'm just me. I know the label means something, but I choose the name of this blog as part of a class assignment — there wasn't a lengthy rhetorical analysis of the label or what it might mean to me. I've written the following about "autism" as a label: http://theautisticme.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-is-autism-beyond-word.html http://theautisticme.blogspot.com/2010/08/socially-constructed-autism.html There are many other related posts, too. I am ambivalent about the "autistic" label, neither rejecting it entirely nor embracing it without question. As a writer with a degree in rhetoric, I'm expected to understand the...