The Autistic Me

Perfectionism can be debilitating. We know that extreme pursuit of "perfection" is associated with body image issues, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. Whether it is associated with ADHD, autistic traits, or something else, I have an impulse towards perfectionism. Parents and educators know that autistic children often insist on perfect order. There is a desire to have a perfect schedule. There are also forms of perfectionism among autistics. I've met autistic adults unable to tolerate the slightest factual errors relating to their special interests. There is a desire for accuracy, clarity, and completeness. Anything less causes emotional, and physical, anxiety. I dislike factual errors intensely. Being a perfectionist and being a teacher can conflict. Grading papers can descend into a "sand trap" where I want to correct every error. Students would never read or recall all the comments I would make on papers given sufficient time. Yet, that is ...

The following question was submitted via the " Ask a Question " page: My 9 year old son has PDD/NOS and gets very upset when his room is clean and organized. He told me tonight that it makes the world feel all wrong, and makes him very unhappy to the point of tears. When I say messy, I mean there are toys on every spot on the floor, flat spaces and even old papers jammed anywhere. Can you possibly explain why this is comforting to him? Thank you so much! Disclaimer: I'm a language education specialist, not a psychologist — I have the minimal required background in psychology for special education. I'll have to discuss this question with a colleague in the future so I can answer more completely. I can offer only what I do know with caveats. Many of the students and adults I have met with autism spectrum disorders have been diagnosed with co-morbid conditions such as OCD, PTSD, SAD (social anxiety disorder), and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). While other conditi...

Whether I consider my oddities "autistic" or "birth trauma" (I vote for "complex entry into life"), I am certainly not normal. My wife will attest to this. Parents of special education students ask if I would want to be "cured" of my oddities. This question is one with which I struggle, since I both value my abilities and curse my lack of social skills. If being "normal" would mean that I must surrender some of my skills, then I would not be me. To not be gifted, a loaded word I admit, means to surrender analytical skills I value and admire in others. I admire scientists. I admire men and women solving problems with thought and through experimentation. I don't like the idea of being as ignorant and sloppy as the people I encounter. I also have no desire to be as slick and manipulative as the most successful people I have met. I'd rather be honest and know myself. I believe there is a point at which great salesman loses...

Though the "autistic" label is fairly new, I have been labeled many things in the past. As I think about the past and present experiences, I realize that including bits and pieces from my evaluation in the book I'm completing will help others with similar experiences. I know I am not the only autistic person to have been considered slow or even mentally retarded. I also have read numerous online discussion groups in which people have posted about being diagnosed with OCD, ADD / ADHD, social anxiety, and even PTSD. I'm not sure how the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder fits with autism, but several HFA/ AS individuals report this as an initial diagnosis. My wife is certain I was, am, and always will be HFA. My mannerism, my speech patterns (poor affect, or even inappropriate affect), and my stereotyped movements under stress are mere bits of the picture, as they say. The new diagnosis was not based on any new evaluation results. My original (second grade...

There are people I consider mental health hypochondriacs. They read a list of "symptoms" and self-diagnose themselves with everything from attention deficits to autism disorders. If there's a way to excuse a lack of success, self-control, organization, healthy relationships, and general contentment, these people will find it in a book or on a Web site. Worse, we have parents and teachers labeling students in ways that might end up doing real harm to future generations. I'll offer the standard disclaimer: I do believe there are disorders and conditions affecting a lot of students. I also admit that some might be more common than in the past — might be, but not necessarily are. What qualifies me to say this? Aren't I being a hypocrite if I'm accepting the label of "autistic" and writing about my experiences? Blunt answer: I was seriously injured during birth. I do not doubt my medical history is being overlaid with current trends in psyc...