The Autistic Me

Perfection and compulsive organization drive me to over-prepare for the courses I teach. I've found that some instructors, especially at the college and university level, are comfortable with a loose seminar approach to teaching, I like to have lots of notes, outlines, slides, and handouts. Without the structure, I would be easily distracted or my pacing wouldn't fit the class meeting time limitations. I post most, but not all, of my notes online for students. Having the slides and handouts gives them a chance to review materials covered in class, something I would value as a student. Because I'm a perfectionist, as a student I reviewed materials throughout each semester. My assumption is that many students want that same ability to review and learn at their own paces. For assignments, I like detailed handouts with all due dates at the top. I describe the assignment, the objectives, the grading criteria, and mention any additional resources available to help complete ...

A reader asks, "If you don't think about the autistic traits, what about your wife? They tend to notice what husbands fail to see in the mirror." Is my wife be more aware of my "autistic" traits than I am? Probably. I suppose the above is true of all friends and family in our lives. The people observing us probably do see us for whatever we are, more clearly than we can see ourselves. She knows how annoyed I get with myself, which might help her tolerate me a little more. I dislike how locked in I get to thoughts, how much I worry constantly about failing at things, how tense I get in various situations. She knows I don't like my sensitivities, my fears, and my general anxiety. My wife reminds me to accept my limits, though I hate those limits. She tries to maintain order and calm, knowing how much I hate disorder in my life. I don't like to be told the obvious though: my mind doesn't let go of things, even when I wish it could. She'll te...

There was simply too much change in the last two years, and lots of stress. I changed jobs — and am on the job market again. We moved — twice. We lost our dear friends J.C. Kitty and Mimi, each passing while we were moving, not even a full year apart. We dealt with flooding and lots of tree branches. My health was its usual adventure, which added to my exhaustion and stress. Finally, as 2012 nears an end, things are starting to feel a bit more organized and sane. Even looking for a new job is less stressful than the first post-graduate hunt because I know we are staying in our new house, in a little Western Pennsylvania township I like a lot. It's a nice place to live, reminding me of the foothills back in Central California — except these hills are green! It appears my wife and I will be able to sell our first Pennsylvania house thanks to a decent market here. If the house sells before Christmas, as seems likely, it will be a huge relief to us. Moving was stressful enough,...

I haven't been posting much to The Autistic Me blog in the last six months or so. I could list all the excuses, and there are many, but I've noticed that my blog isn't alone with less frequent updates. I've also noticed many blogs have either been abandoned or changed managers/authors in the last year. My "autism" group in NetNewsWire, my RSS reader of choice, is shrinking. On the Autism-Hub site, some pages haven't been updated in six months. Only ten have been updated within the last 30 days. What's happened? Have we all shifted to Facebook? I doubt it. Maybe we are exhausted, as a community? That seems plausible, after several busy years. Maybe there will be another spike in discussions once the new DSM-V is published, but we might have exhausted those debates, too. Opinions seem fairly set on many of the subjects. Blogging requires some compulsion to address a topic, or at least to tell a personal story. I'm not sure why anyone would c...

Most cities are not places where I can thrive. My wife knows I can barely function in some cities without wanting to scream. Okay, I have screamed, turned the car around, and headed back to the country. I hate some cities that much. While my biggest complaints involve the crowds and the sensory overload, I don't think I'd like the cities even if we were the only two people in one of them. An empty city is still a city. I've written on this site several times about the problems I had living in Minneapolis, an older city with narrow roads and a cluttered, illogical downtown. The cramped nature of older cities is too much for me. The traffic, public transit, and tall buildings add to my anxiety. Historically, the cities on the East coast evolved "organically" over the decades and centuries. Walking paths became wagon ways, which became roads. The streets of cities were shaped by geography, too, with roads going around hills and avoiding other obstacles. In th...

I have minor surgery on Monday to address a problem that has been recurring for several years. A few years ago, the problem made Christmas a bit complicated — I was planning to get my wife a gift and ended up in the hospital that day. This year, I'll be having surgery the day before a guest arrives to stay with us for a few days. My wife and I need things to settle down for a few weeks so we can gather ourselves and relax. Neither of us has a "laid back" personality. We are both perfectionists. We both feel like we are always falling behind, even while we finish tasks ahead of colleagues. Being a perfectionist is hard work and emotionally draining. Surgery comes right as I'm dealing with some issues at work. It also comes as we are trying to fix up our existing house enough to put it on the market next summer. There always seems to be more to do than is possible, but that's because we think of everything as important. I want the classes I teach to be "p...

I've taken three cats for rides in the Jeep twice this week while people have toured our house. I hate the idea people are in our house, so I was nominated to take the kids for these trips to the park. Like the cats, I'm not happy about this. Unlike the cats, I at least know the reason we have to leave the house is to help us move to a larger house. Rearranging our possessions bothers me. I like things where I like them. So, after I return from these short drives, I try to restore my sense of order as best I can, while knowing some things need to be packed and hidden. My wife did the house hunting for the new home. She's dealing with strangers in our house. I hate both processes, so it is best that she handled these tasks. I'd want to clean the homes as I toured them. When we looked at homes before moving into our current residence, I hated seeing how little people care for their homes. I like things clean and maintained. The idea people have walked through our ho...

Everyone knows moving is a pain. For weeks before (and weeks after), disarray is the norm. We have boxes about the house, and we've barely started organizing for a long-distance move. In coming weeks, we need to donate, sell, and dispose of as much as we can without parting with anything we'd later miss. Of course, I'm the sort of person to miss anything we leave behind. Coordinating the move is practical logistics: events have to happen in near-perfect order. My wife and I over-plan, and yet we will both feel unprepared until the move is complete. We will worry about every detail between now and August. The cats hated today, which began with two workers installing five new interior doors. I disliked it, too, but it sure was fast and painless versus us doing the work. But, Pumpkin Kitty ("PK") was truly annoyed. I have the two puncture marks on my right hand (thankfully, the less-sensitive hand) where PK bit down and wouldn't let go. He is still hiding several...

The following question was submitted via the " Ask a Question " page: My 9 year old son has PDD/NOS and gets very upset when his room is clean and organized. He told me tonight that it makes the world feel all wrong, and makes him very unhappy to the point of tears. When I say messy, I mean there are toys on every spot on the floor, flat spaces and even old papers jammed anywhere. Can you possibly explain why this is comforting to him? Thank you so much! Disclaimer: I'm a language education specialist, not a psychologist — I have the minimal required background in psychology for special education. I'll have to discuss this question with a colleague in the future so I can answer more completely. I can offer only what I do know with caveats. Many of the students and adults I have met with autism spectrum disorders have been diagnosed with co-morbid conditions such as OCD, PTSD, SAD (social anxiety disorder), and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). While other conditi...

Today my wife and I spent a bit too much on books, one weakness we share. The local Borders Books is closing (actually four are closing in our area) and it isn't a popular store. In an urban area, it's not unusual to have a "bad" neighborhood mere blocks from a "good" one. The bookstore is hidden in a dying strip center, behind a gym and across from a Walmart. This is not the neighborhood for a large bookstore. The Walmart is always busy, but I was often one of four or five patrons in the bookstore. Even the well-known used bookstore, which is on one of the busiest corners in the metro area, is seldom busy. After comparing prices to other sources, illustrating another issue for Borders, we bought several books that were (finally) cheaper at the store. Previously, Borders only received our book-buying business when the chain graced us with discount coupons, otherwise we tend to favor used bookstores, online retailers, and Barnes & Noble (one local B...

I have a long list of things I want to organize. The list dates back to the late 1990s, as some collections never stop expanded. Some of the items I'm trying to organize: 1. Books. Most are shelved by topic and author while others remain in boxes. Books are entered into a database, too. I was using EndNote, but migrated to Bookends. I have been creating duplicate data online via Goodreads and Visual Bookshelf. The data from Bookends is also on my iPod Touch so I know what I own when shopping. 2. CDs. I love music and have a lot of CDs, which I prefer for sound quality. Yes, I can tell the difference until they up the bit rate for all downloads. Classical music, jazz, and show tunes really do sound "choppy" and "hollow" at 128Kbps. The CDs are piled up downstairs as I create index card dividers for them. I have the CDs sorted by artist, year, and title in an Excel spreadsheet, as well. 3. Fonts. I have thousands of commercial and registered shareware fonts. I hav...