The Autistic Me

When I was asked to read and comment on Finding Kansas: Living and Decoding Asperger's Syndrome I didn't expect the book to affect me much, if at all. I've read many autism memoirs and some seem more familiar than others. I can relate to the writings of Stephen Shore, for example, more than the works of John Elder Robison. Temple Grandin touches on experiences I understand, but her life was far more challenging than anything I've experienced. The readers of Finding Kansas might understand what its like to live with an autism spectrum disorder. I'm not sure, because I keep trying to tell myself that I'm not like Aaron — even when I know much of what he writes is familiar. The writings of Aaron Likens reflect emotions and social issues so familiar they hurt. His memories trigger my own negative memories, causing a fair amount of misery. At the same time, I cannot relate directly to some of his experiences and impulses. I recognize Aaron struggles with his e...

When stressed, I experience an intense desire to flee — to get away from whatever situation is causing the stress. I've left restaurants without ordering, stores without buying items, and even medical appointments when the situation didn't feel right. About the only thing I can't recall leaving suddenly was my classroom when teaching. The good thing about teaching is that you can stop lecturing and alter an assignment to adjust the mood of the room. Next to leaving, establishing some personal control seems to be the best way to reduce stress. The most stressful moments are those of individual conflict. When I feel threatened or dominated by someone, I do have to leave. I feel physically ill when someone is imposing his or her will on me without listening to or caring about the results. Some people are intimidating by nature. I suppose there are "natural" bullies, people who expect to be in charge at all times. These people aren't inclined to let each person in...

I have a long list of things I want to organize. The list dates back to the late 1990s, as some collections never stop expanded. Some of the items I'm trying to organize: 1. Books. Most are shelved by topic and author while others remain in boxes. Books are entered into a database, too. I was using EndNote, but migrated to Bookends. I have been creating duplicate data online via Goodreads and Visual Bookshelf. The data from Bookends is also on my iPod Touch so I know what I own when shopping. 2. CDs. I love music and have a lot of CDs, which I prefer for sound quality. Yes, I can tell the difference until they up the bit rate for all downloads. Classical music, jazz, and show tunes really do sound "choppy" and "hollow" at 128Kbps. The CDs are piled up downstairs as I create index card dividers for them. I have the CDs sorted by artist, year, and title in an Excel spreadsheet, as well. 3. Fonts. I have thousands of commercial and registered shareware fonts. I hav...