The Autistic Me

I learned in Minneapolis that congested freeways and surface streets can contribute to migraines — fairly quickly, too. Since I lived in Los Angeles, and I happen to like driving there, I've been struggling to explain why some cities give me a headache and others do not. In a previous post, I explained that I like grid-based cities. But, that alone isn't enough to explain the migraine triggers. Los Angeles is not a great grid and the traffic is notoriously slow. Los Angeles drivers deal with mountains and coastline. The "grid" of L.A. is messy, but navigable for some reason. My wife noticed that it might be the attitudes of drivers. In Los Angeles, despite the city's image, drivers have been fairly nice. The infamous ramp from I-5 to State 110 (Golden State to Harbor Freeway) near Dodger Stadium is actually not bad after my experiences in other cities. As you exit 5, traffic is two lanes. (I long ago learned to use the "merge lane" as long as possi...

I'm glad research is finding evidence that supports my impressions of city life. This research could have implications for autism, as well. There is significant evidence that autism rates are higher in some settings, but we don't know how correlations relate to causation or other factors. Simply finding more autistics in a region doesn't mean something in the region causes autism. It could be that similar people slowly congregate. But, this study finds evidence that city life itself changes the brain. The implications are fairly important. Humans didn't live in cities of millions until recently. We did not evolve in groups much larger than a few thousand, and more often our social groups are under a thousand people. We're only emotionally wired to handle connections to 150 people or fewer. We deal with 1000 or more by connecting though our close connections. We connect beyond the 150, in other words, but we do so via networking. City Life Could Change Your Brain for...

Yesterday, I defended my doctoral dissertation and paid the last $120 in fees to the University of Minnesota. For the cost of tuition, they really should include the dissertation filing, even though the money is technically paid to a private publisher. Here is a portion of the "ETD" report you receive after submitting the final project: Print Date : 05-12-2010 _____________________________________________________ Campus : University of Minnesota, Twin Cities Program : Graduate School Plan : Rhetoric/Sci/Tech Comm Ph D Major Degree Sought : Doctor of Philosophy Plan : Supporting Program Minor Dissertation: Online Pedagogy: Designing Writing Courses for Students with Autism Spectrum Disorders Dissertation / Final Research Categories ______________________________________________________ 736 : Speech & Rhetorical Studies 810 : Educational/Instructional Media Design 835 : Special Education 864 : English Education It is complex enoug...

I am not going to fly when I have any chance to avoid it. I hate the experience. The planes are like crowded city buses, but instead of being able to take a break at any stop along they way — something I have done in the city — you are stuck in the same seat for hours. You can't get off and wait for ten minutes for the next bus; I need a pause to catch my breath sometimes. I've gotten off the train in Minneapolis when it was too crowded, noisy, smelly, or in some way just not the place I should be. I wait until I'm ready to continue on my way. Planes are not like that. Today I had to tolerate the smell of Corn Nuts, chomping gum, and perfumes. I wanted off the plane. The flight left me feeling horrible, with a headache and my eyes bothering me. I cannot do this to my mind and body many more times. I hate it too much. It takes every once of energy I have to not scream in agony.

I have been very sore and sensitive for the last few weeks. My back, legs, and hands ache. Unfortunately, this drains me of any ability to deal with things I dislike. Trying to start a cultivator, also known as a tiller, I yanked too hard just as the starting cable seized. This pulled my shoulder, ripped skin from my middle finger, and caused a shooting back spasm. I was already tense and unhappy with progress on the house, so this left me even more tense, more anxious, about the yard and house. I don't like where we live. I hate being semi-urban, living within Minneapolis. The disorder of urban life is hard on my senses, as it is. The fact our yard is yet one more thing that's disgustingly incomplete annoys me. We've already made plans to have the garage painted. The crew will prep it, let us repair some of the wood, and then it will be painted white. I am at least glad it is one less thing we will need to do. I hate seeing the peeling paint, rotted wood, split...

I like my routines. In fact, I am desperate to maintain them when I am under stress. For the last few years, I have listened to WCCO (830, Minneapolis) at night. The overnight hosts on this local station simply talked. They'd talk about local music, the weather, and stupid news headlines. They were seldom political; mainly it was just people chatting like they might over shared drinks. Now, WCCO is carrying a syndicated show at night. It's horrible. The old WCCO reminded me of KGO (810, S.F.) at times. While KGO can get too political, there were also the familiar callers, the nights when "best burger in the Bay Area" was the topic. Just chatting. National shows have to be loud, it seems. The hosts need passionate topics, so they can't avoid the political nonsense. I just want friendly voices in the night. So, I'm back to using Internet radio and listening to old-time radio shows. You can't get much friendlier than Fibber McGee or George Burns. Wh...

For the last two weeks, plus or minus a few days, I have been coughing. This followed a horrible cold -- the second rough cold of this season. In winter, more of us are in close proximity, leading to more infections. Unfortunately, I teach and that means I am in a small, cramped classroom with nearly two dozen young adults. Most of my students live with lots of other young people. At least I don't work with elementary school students with my tendency to catch everything. My wife convinced me to stop by the campus health clinic yesterday. I arrived within 15 minutes of the clinic opening. Unfortunately, the clinic is only open from 12:30 to 4 p.m. on Tuesdays. As a result, the clinic doctors and nurses can only see a few dozen first-come, first-serve patients. I simply wasn't early enough. Coughing and apparently wheezing, the admitting nurse took pity on me and checked to see if there were opening on the main campus. I would have to try to arrive early the next morning. The nur...

This weekend hasn't gone well, from mid-Friday or so onward. Maybe earlier. My left eye is definitely out of focus, possibly causing my headaches and worse. I have made an emergency appointment to see the optometrist or whatever the "O.D." is at the university health clinic on Monday afternoon. I cannot keep fighting my eyesight, especially if that is the cause of my migraines. I was invited to interview for an after school science program in St. Paul. I was excited, but the weekend stresses and the general hassles of my upcoming schedule may require that I decline the interview. The university is unsure where my office will even be this year. Annoying. I thought part of my problem was a lack of social contact and mental stimulation. Being home alone day after day is taking a toll on me, but I also don't do well outside of the house in this relatively urban setting. I admit it — I want to be near malls and strip centers. I miss huge bookstores with ca...

As anyone reading this blog knows, I hate — despise completely — Minneapolis. I am in constant pain this winter. My left shoulder feels like it is being ripped from its socket. My entire back hurts, especially my lower back. My hips, knees, and ankles constantly pop. My hands tingle, like ants are crawling over them… plus they sting constantly. Then there are the two, three or four times a day that my nose bleeds. I use Vaseline, ointments, and we boil water on the stove. Still, my nose bleeds, usually followed by a severe headache. I am taking Ultram twice a day once again. I take painkillers at night, whatever we have in the drawer. I think it is a Tylenol PM of some sort. I have no idea how well these things mix. I should probably research what is and is not safe with Ultram and Neurontin. Then, you have the dirt and grime of snow turning to slush. It is disgustingly dirty here. I get dirt on my clothes constantly. My shoes get wet and they get stained from the salt / che...

I recently spoke at the Autism Society of Minnesota. It was a good experience, overall, and I think the audience enjoyed the presentation. When I speak, I never know how well things went, but my wife noticed the comments people made because she was sitting in the audience. AuSM has graciously asked me to repeat the presentation at their annual convention. The AuSM 2008 Annual Convention will be in Minneapolis, April 30 through May 3. I look forward to having a larger audience before I travel to Orlando for the national ASA conference. When I speak to a audience of parents and teachers, I feel like I'm making a genuine difference. When I sit and write, I'm never sure that others are affected. Despite being nervous when speaking, there's a real sense of connection during a presentation.