The Autistic Me

Every few months, online or in real (physical) life, I hear the skeptical, questioning, puzzled phrase, "You're not autistic. You can't be." I've addressed the question here many times, and I still lack a single good response. The "positive" versions: Because you are successful, self-expressive, driven, and have a career, it is hard to believe you are autistic. Because you are considered intelligent… Because you did well in school… Because you have a wife, good relationship with family, and seem to lead a "normal" life (especially for an introvert)… Because I've never seen a meltdown, non-verbal day, shaking, stereotypical behaviors… The "negative" versions: You must be lying to get attention. You played the neurologists for suckers. You are merely an awkward geek, like other smart people. You are using autistic traits as an excuse for being lazy. The reality is more complex, as it always is. Here's my cur...

April is autism something-or-other month, depending on whom you ask. It's all about "acceptance" or "awareness" or "diversity" or "celebration" or "pride" — and I'm sure a few other concepts. To this, I respond with a busy, preoccupied, "Whatever." I get that people want to find support, inspiration, connections, and resources. I'm all for helping people, especially autistic teens and adults, find ways to achieve all they can. If autism month helps people find those supports, great. But, what I dislike is the absurdity of the news media during this annual panic-feeding month. Put the risks in context: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/30/opinion/sunday/how-to-think-about-the-risk-of-autism.html You want to know what "caused" my autistic traits? Birth trauma. Period. And sure enough, that's number two on the list of risk factors, right beneath an autistic twin. But, easy explanations aren...

Researchers and scientists are human. This means that despite their best efforts, they are shaped by their own biases and experiences. It also means they exist in a world of politics -- from university politics to the politics of professional organizations. And make no mistake about it, government and non-profit organizations make research funding decisions based on politics, as well. Most scientists and researchers I know were drawn to research for personal reasons. For example, many cancer researchers are motivated because they lost friends or relatives to cancer. The goal is still altruistic, in my opinion, but there is something that nudges each of us interested in research to pursue specific questions. I do want to clarify that not all researchers are scientists. Researchers in the humanities might borrow terms and techniques from the "hard sciences," but social science and general humanities research is often overtly political. This research is sometimes called "ac...

The word "community" is overused in academic fields, but it is the best word for what it on my mind today. I closed "The Autistic Place" today. It was meant to be an online community dedicated to issues of autism and education. The reality is, however, that online communities come and go so rapidly that what was popular a year or two ago is often "inactive" now. There are dozens of Yahoo groups that are dedicated to autism. Most of these were active five years ago, but have since fallen out of favor with users. Just as the Usenet groups and most "listservs" have faded away in the last five years, so have many online forums. The Internet has accelerated the speed with which a community grows, propers, and then declines. The timeline of the Internet is punctuated by technologies and business ideas that were "hot" for a moment. When is the last time you used IRC or read a newsgroup? Remember CompuServe? Prodigy? And Netscape was near...

On the tail of revelations regarding the settlement agreed to by the Vaccine Court in the case of Hannah Poling, now there are more studies showing there appears to be no statistical correlation between certain vaccines and autism. The public is certain to view these as contradictory reports because the Poling case has been reported so badly in the media and online. Thimerosal in vaccines did not cause an autism epidemic. The study was released online Sept. 13 in advance of publication in the October print issue of Pediatrics. Questions and answers with the thimerosal-autism study author. From the University of Pennsylvania site MedPage Today: The case-control study, of 256 children with autism spectrum disorders and 752 age- and sex-matched healthy controls, found that higher-than-average exposures to ethylmercury were, if anything, less common in kids with autism compared with healthy kids, reported Frank DeStefano, MD, MPH, of the CDC's Immunization Safety Office in Atlanta, and...

A study reported today concludes that birth trauma resulting in neonatal intensive care increases the likelihood a child will develop autistic traits.The article appears on several websites. Here is the link to USA Today: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2010-08-09-autism-babies_N.htm The assertion that autism can be predicted in some cases within the first month of life indicates that at least some cases are not caused by post-birth exposure to toxins. No one has been immunized at a month, and I seriously doubt most month-old children have been chewing toxic toys. (We should ask what common experiences the parents, especially mothers, have.) Signs of autism may show up in babies as young as 1 month old, a new study shows. But the tip-offs are not the usual red flags, such as a lack of eye contact or smiling, the researchers noted. Instead, they found babies who needed neonatal intensive care and were later diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder were more likely to have abnormal...

The great portal/blog Left Brain / Right Brain has a lengthy post on current research dealing with potential causes of autism. The post offers links to multiple peer-reviewed studies underway on the familiar suspects, ranging from mercury to the age of parents. Of course, no amount of research will influence the zealots, but I can at least suggest reading the actual studies underway: GENE-ENVIRONMENT INTERACTIONS IN AN AUTISM BIRTH COHORT AUTISM IN A FISH EATING POPULATION (a study of a population exposed to high levels of mercury) NEUROIMMUNOTOXICOLOGY OF MERCURY GENETIC SUSCEPTIBILITY TO MERCURY-INDUCED IMMUNE DYSFUNCTION IN AUTISM & ASD Again, I can only suggest reading and following the research. Many of the early findings demonstrate what we already know: mercury and other toxins are dangerous. What the findings do not, at least not yet, demonstrate is that mercury or other heavy metals are the primary cause of autism. Mercury exposure in adults does cause neurological damag...

Whether I consider my oddities "autistic" or "birth trauma" (I vote for "complex entry into life"), I am certainly not normal. My wife will attest to this. Parents of special education students ask if I would want to be "cured" of my oddities. This question is one with which I struggle, since I both value my abilities and curse my lack of social skills. If being "normal" would mean that I must surrender some of my skills, then I would not be me. To not be gifted, a loaded word I admit, means to surrender analytical skills I value and admire in others. I admire scientists. I admire men and women solving problems with thought and through experimentation. I don't like the idea of being as ignorant and sloppy as the people I encounter. I also have no desire to be as slick and manipulative as the most successful people I have met. I'd rather be honest and know myself. I believe there is a point at which great salesman loses...

There are people I consider mental health hypochondriacs. They read a list of "symptoms" and self-diagnose themselves with everything from attention deficits to autism disorders. If there's a way to excuse a lack of success, self-control, organization, healthy relationships, and general contentment, these people will find it in a book or on a Web site. Worse, we have parents and teachers labeling students in ways that might end up doing real harm to future generations. I'll offer the standard disclaimer: I do believe there are disorders and conditions affecting a lot of students. I also admit that some might be more common than in the past — might be, but not necessarily are. What qualifies me to say this? Aren't I being a hypocrite if I'm accepting the label of "autistic" and writing about my experiences? Blunt answer: I was seriously injured during birth. I do not doubt my medical history is being overlaid with current trends in psyc...