The Autistic Me

Sitting at home, with our cats, is where we will be this holiday season. It beats being out and about this week, as Christmas approaches. I have no desire to be among crowds of people or driving in heavy traffic. Peace and quiet are what my wife and I both want. Books, movies, the fireplace, the cats. That's a good holiday week. There are people who love the holidays, the lights, the sounds, the shopping, the large gatherings and parties. Not us. A new year approaches. There's no optimism, or pessimism, only acceptance that the year will be whatever it will be. As you get older, the holidays are memories of the past and recollections of what we once dreamed the future might be. What is doesn't quite match the what we hoped would be. What I do like about the holidays: cookies. Okay, I like cookies all the time. Still, the holidays are a reason to bake extra cookies and try new recipes. Related articles Normalcy is Good

Mutt, aka Muttley Kitty, Muttles, Muttford, and Twitchy, passed away on Thursday, August 8, 2013, at 9:45 a.m., after a long battle with cancer, lifelong heart issues, and age. Born May 1, 1995, Mutt was 18 years, three months old. July 1995, with Mutt (front), J.C. playing with Alex, and Mimi Kitty keeping on eye on her adopted boys: Mutt was just amazing. He was our little engineer, able to find his way to high spots and to open cupboard doors. Before leaving California: Mutt, with J.C. Kitty on Mom's bed: May, 2013, on our new bed frame, in the new house, looking pretty handsome for a kitty just turned 18: Mutt wasn't doing well for most of 2013, but he had these few hours each week when he was still alert and the same old Muttley we always loved. We had to help him onto the bed, because even the step we bought for him became difficult to navigate. He really needed rails. June, 2013: Sleeping next to his buddy, Misty Kitty: Misty Kitty adored Mutt a...

It has been a busy couple of weeks, with my classes finishing their final exams and my wife and I rushing to fix up our "old" house so the sale can close and we can focus on the "new" (really, actually new) house. Just as I was ready to gather some thoughts and blog, we had the events of Newtown, CT. The mention of Autism Spectrum Disorders and violence (you can search on Google, I won't bother with the links) have raised some difficult issues — and I didn't want to comment on some of the articles about mental health and violence because, while less upsetting than the horrific events, were still upsetting. We'll have more stories about the "severely" autistic with aggressive personality disorders. Maybe someone will dredge up the various "autism defense" stories, citing the several criminal cases in which autism was a defense for horrible acts. Now, I'm only in a slightly better place to comment than I was a few days ago....

In two hours, I'll be leaving to the airport to retrieve my wife. I missed her for the last week while she's been visiting family in California. I also miss California, so while missing her I was remembering the places back home — Los Angeles, Monterey, Sequoia, and so many more. Then there were the memories of food. Yes, food. Mexican food isn't the same in Pennsylvania, Ohio, or Minnesota. (Though, parts of Ohio look promising.) The cats have been clingy while I'm alone. It wasn't quite as bad as when we first moved, but pretty close. Then again, Alex and Mutt are clingy most of the time now. Old age stinks. I believe they miss the rest of the pack — especially Mimi and Jordan. With the return to a routine, maybe the cats won't cry so much. Even sitting with them, it was obvious they wanted Mama, not Papa. Misty Kitty has taken to sitting on a little folding "TV tray" stand next to my chair in the living room. It's adorable. I hope to be ...

Cats, I am told, are like two-year-old children. Last night was one of those long nights with one sick and one demanding kid, then. My wife is visiting family in California and I am ill-equipped at the moment to deal with extra stress. I believe it is because the start of this school year is reminding me of last year — so I am already anxious. I did okay last summer because I was focused on the new job and things hadn't yet started to spiral out of control. Then, J.C. Kitty passed away, the house flooded, and my workplace became more complex than I could anticipate. Add to that a string of health issues and my ability to manage alone withered away under stress. A few months into the school year and I needed extra help managing the household. Last night, about 11 p.m., Mutt was sick. Very sick. He needed a bath, the bed comforter had to be changed… and then he was sick again. Another bath. At the same time, his brother Alex was demanding food, but finding none of the cho...

Things matter to me. I cannot explain why, but physical things provide comfort and security. Sometimes, simply knowing where my things are is enough to calm my mind. There are days and nights, though, when I have to find something and see it to relax. My pens, notebooks, and favorite pencils are like that. Some nights, I have to check to make sure my writing materials are nearby and okay. I'm not sure what would happen to them, but after the flooding in the last house and this house, I worry about my writing being safe and secure. Last weekend, my wife and I planned to run errands. I wanted books on local plants, local birds, and I am still searching for a good Art Deco history text. When we were at the bookstore, I realized I didn't have my wallet. It wasn't a need — my wife had her keys and wallet — but I couldn't relax without having my wallet. It makes no sense, but I couldn't focus on the book quest or anything else. We ended up driving back to our house so I...

There is a book entitled All Cats Have Aspergers Syndrome . I definitely know our cats have not dealt well with the disruptions associated with moving. One of our cats, Pumpkin Kitty, is so anxious that he's on Prozac for kitties. He struggles even in familiar settings, but moving has been a nightmare for our little boy. He's been hiding in dark spaces, from the tubs to behind doors. He loves to hide in the closets of the new house, too. He does not want to wander the hallways and discover new places, like the other cats are doing. He wants things the way they were. Actually, I think he'd be happier all the way back in California, though he wasn't at ease there, either. Something about each move seems a bit harder on the poor guy. This move is it, though. We're going to try to stay in this new location for the rest of our kids' lives and up to our retirements. I'm in no rush to move again, either. We have had cats that only ate one brand of food. We've ...