The Autistic Me

Autistic traits can contribute to being abused and exploited by others, as the following survey data suggest: Half of [UK] autistic adults 'abused by someone they trusted as a friend' A startling 44% of those questioned admitted they stayed indoors as much as possible for fear of being harassed. Almost a third reported having had money or possessions stolen, while 37% had been forced or manipulated into doing something they didn't want to do by someone they thought of as a friend. Almost half (49%) of the 1,300 people surveyed reported having been abused by someone they thought of as a friend. Being bullied is, unfortunately, part of life for many people. The small, the weak, the different, will be bullied. There might be evolutionary and cultural explanations for power dynamics, but we should resist our worst natures. I'm less and less trusting, but it took me more than 40 years to realize how many people have no moral compass. I still make mistakes, assuming the ...

I have posted a follow-up to clarify "The Mediocre" for myself and others.  See " Who Are The Mediocre People? " The essence of the latest "Ask a Question" submission: What has been the biggest challenge for you in the adult life? http://theautisticme.blogspot.com/p/ask-question.html I've had a few weeks to ponder this, but a recent incident comes to mind and I think it encapsulates the greatest challenge from my perspective. There are bullies in adulthood. They try to ruin you to make themselves feel better. Bullies are those people who don't want to understand my challenges or anyone else's challenges. They want to dismiss me as "strange" or "weird" and ignore any responsibility they might have for creating overwhelming situations. People can be mean, pushy, aggressive, and generally rude. Such attitudes exhaust me. Eventually, the rude person wins, and I have to leave the situation. I can't handle pushy people,...

On Facebook, a reader asked if I have any suggestions to stop bullying. I began to consider my experiences as an educator and university scholar. I'm not sure my experiences point to any solutions, but I can relate what I have learned. (Be sure to follow The Autistic Me on Facebook !) Evolutionary psychologists will tell you that most species engage in "battle" to establish leadership. I'm not sure how humans can overcome millions of years of "alpha-beta" sorting impulses. However, that doesn't mean that teachers, parents, mentors, and, later in life, good supervisors, cannot intercede and stop competition from crossing the line into bullying. I was never a good athlete, even though I like some sports. I'm certainly not strong, fast, muscular, tall, or whatever else might translate into a physically dominant appearance. However, I was also rarely the smallest person in a class — average describes me well. Yes, physical presence matters. We know from ...

Bullying is nothing new to me. Even as a second grade student I could tell you why I was a target for bullies. But, when I saw the headline "Predictors of Bullying of Autistic Children Identified," I found myself reading the story below on Medscape ( http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/743027 ). Maybe I was searching for a solution I know doesn't exist. Yes, I am cynical about human nature. (Read my previous post on lying and narcissism as they relate to popularity and power: Social Success and Narcissism ) My simple theory on bullying: people of all ages, young and old, test each other to determine the nature of the "competition" in a social group. We measure people, to locate the strongest and weakest in the group. Bullying is an extreme version of this social testing. Even those of us who want to believe we are exempt from such impulses rarely are. Every group has power rankings, the challenge is to see people beyond those social standings. Predictors of Bull...