The Autistic Me

I have swept and shoveled snow every day since Wednesday. Today is Sunday. That's five days of snow removal. I'm sick of the snow — I want some sunshine and warmer weather. When we first moved from California to Minnesota, I looked forward to the White Christmas. Now, it wouldn't bother me to never see snow again. Western PA is nothing like Minneapolis. The snow storms here have less snow and the temperature is warmer. I can remove the snow in about 30 minutes, without getting frostbite. Minneapolis was brutally cold. Here, it is the lack of sunshine that gets depressing. We did leave the house today, because I was getting stir-crazy. We had lunch (Chinese buffet) and walked a mile at the local mall. But the distance from the car to the mall was sufficient to turn my cheeks pink and my hands white. The slightest breeze cuts through you when it is snowing. As readers know, I hate gloves and hats when it is cold. That's a bit odd, I realize, since I like fine sui...

Yesterday, it was in the low 90s in Minnesota. Today, it is over 100F. That's a huge change from three weeks ago when we saw snow flurries in the air. I am not a cold weather person. Cold weather means clothing I hate: itch-inducing layers, gloves, thick socks, knit caps, and so on. I've written several times about hating winter wear, and my annual frostbite / frost "nip" experiences resulting from my distaste for some of the clothes. I'm also not a huge fan of blistering heat. I'm comfortable from the low 50s into the mid 80s. There's no way to dislike a nice, partly cloudy 72F day with flowers in bloom. That's perfection, especially if you get to sit outside and relax. Still, if I have to choose between sub-zero temperatures and the 110F summers of my youth, I'd opt for the heat — air conditioning is a great thing. The cold causes cracked skin, sore joints, and ice patches I find without any effort. Summer heat can at least be dealt with: fans, a...

Admittedly, this section is out of context. It is from a long chapter I am still editing and revising, but I think this section of the text can encourage some discussion. Relationship Constraints All relationships exist within boundaries. In some cases the boundaries are cultural, physical, or in other ways external to us. There are constraints that are personal. Sometimes we can learn to expand this constraints; sometimes we learn to adapt to them. The coming pages are going to explore four groups of constraints that affect the relationships of people with autism:  • Social Skills: ability to read and adjust to people, avoid confusing for “passing” as normal • Tolerances: both emotional and sensory tolerances that can affect relationships • Desires: “best case” wishes for relationships, from acquaintances to friendships to lovers  • Needs: what works for us, helps us, and ideally traits close to what we desire Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that our social ...

I have received a few questions via e-mail and Twitter. As promised I will answer questions as best I can. You can contact me on this blog's "Ask the Author" page or via Twitter (@autisticme). Q: Have you tried different diets? If so, do they have any effect? A: I have a chlorophyl allergy (seriously), so I cannot eat a lot of green vegetables without incurring a lot of pain and misery. Unfortunately, I also love salads, so I must limit the amount to a small, small serving. We tend to eat fish and chicken. I react to grease and oil, so we bake and grill with fruit juices, coconut milk, and various marinades. I absolutely adore breads and cookies. Not about to skip those, but we also try to control carbs because I want to lose weight. I've been avoiding pasta and other starchy foods. Q: Are you sensitive to clothing? A: Yes. I have always removed tags. I hate "itchy" clothes and really hate itchy bedsheets. I don't like wool, despise "sticky" cl...

Early Monday I leave for my first on-campus interview. Others are being scheduled, so the next month might be busy. This is a great thing in the face of weak job market. Multiple interviews are rare when so many institutions have hiring freezes or would prefer adjunct to tenure-track hiring. I've prepared the slide show, the career portfolio, and gathered other materials I might need. The clothes are planned, TSA-approved hygiene products purchased (small travel sizes), and all seems to be ready for the adventure. As I head off this week, I do so with some comfort that I likely have an offer from another university. The challenge then becomes deciding which places "feel right" when I visit.

As anyone reading this blog knows, I hate — despise completely — Minneapolis. I am in constant pain this winter. My left shoulder feels like it is being ripped from its socket. My entire back hurts, especially my lower back. My hips, knees, and ankles constantly pop. My hands tingle, like ants are crawling over them… plus they sting constantly. Then there are the two, three or four times a day that my nose bleeds. I use Vaseline, ointments, and we boil water on the stove. Still, my nose bleeds, usually followed by a severe headache. I am taking Ultram twice a day once again. I take painkillers at night, whatever we have in the drawer. I think it is a Tylenol PM of some sort. I have no idea how well these things mix. I should probably research what is and is not safe with Ultram and Neurontin. Then, you have the dirt and grime of snow turning to slush. It is disgustingly dirty here. I get dirt on my clothes constantly. My shoes get wet and they get stained from the salt / che...

This coming weekend is supposed to remain below 0F, with some areas of Minnesota experiencing a windchill of -50F or worse. Sponsors have cancelled a major skiing competition due to safety concerns. It was deemed too cold for ice sculptors to work on the famous Winter Carnival attractions in St. Paul. It's cold... even for Minnesota. Cold is painful. Very painful. Even indoors, my joints ache. My skin itches and burns from the low humidity. Outside, I have to wear gloves and hats, which I hate — as readers already know. I've tried lotions, but they bother me. It's a sensation I dislike intensely, the slick oily nature of lotions. When I don't use the lotions, I end up with bleeding around my fingertips, the skin splitting along the ridges of my fingerprints. I can't explain why, but I hate lotion so much that bleeding is almost better. Spring cannot come soon enough. When I read about SAD, I don't quite get the "sunlight" issue. I don't ...

I am definitely a hypersensitive individual — physically (and emotionally). The cold weather of Minnesota forces me to wear more clothes, including hats, gloves, and even a face mask at times. Thermal pants for the windchill are also required some mornings. I itch. I scratch. I get annoyed. It's like sandpaper all over my body. I'm sure the dry skin caused by the cold, dry air, isn't helping matters. Both of my index fingers are cracked and have been bleeding, despite using a special petroleum jelly lotion. And in this cold, annoying weather I have managed to yet again fracture a bone or two. This time, in my right foot. Last year, it was my ribs. Mix school stress with the weather and my foot's sharp pains and you can understand why what I really want more than anything is to sit quietly at home, at my desk, writing and playing.