The Autistic Me

From the "Ask a Question" area… My son has Aspergers and he is very bright. However, I think what is difficult is that he has difficulty in Executive Function and I feel this will affect his learning as he grows older. Did you have the difficulty in EF and how did you cope with it? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Executive function (and, therefore, executive dysfunction) refers to one's ability or inability to organize daily routines required to function optimally in relationships, at school, at work, and within any community. When someone lacks impulse control, focus, and the ability to prioritize tasks, that individual suffers from impaired executive function. To describe me as "scattershot" would be generous. Finishing projects requires Herculean efforts, and I admit that more often I fail than succeed when it comes to my to-do list. Projects end up almost done, and I have the boxes of work to prove it. Getting through the day can be a challenge...

One of the questions I was asked this week was how colleges should deal with autistic students who are too tethered to their parents. A college advisor explained to me that she has met too many students on the autism spectrum living on campus who rush home every weekend, and sometimes during the week, instead of making the transition to independent living. "The parents make matters even worse. They call us, they call residential life, they call professors, and they'll even call deans. They don't trust us and they don't trust their children." Okay, parents. Stop it! Just STOP IT. LET GO. As your children head back to school, at all grade levels, you need to accept that your child will stumble a few times throughout the year. He or she will have to deal with stressors that are academic and social. The classroom and the campus are social settings with plenty of difficult lessons for all students. Your job as a parent is to be a safety net, not a safety ha...

I have been invited to several support groups for autistic teens and adults over the last six years or so. The people leading these groups do a great job and have a difficult task. Still, many of the participants drift into the dark black hole of self-pity, dwelling on the negatives of life instead of the positives. Yes, a support group exists to help members deal with negatives. But, dwelling on and reliving the negatives can be a vicious cycle as each participant adds another layer of negativity to what is shared by previous speakers. Here are some suggestions to help overcome this challenge: 1) What did you accomplish this week that you believed you might not be able to do? How do you feel about that accomplishment? 2) What have you done recently to improve your life and the lives others? 3) What actions have you taken to be a good role model for others? 4) How are you challenging negative stereotypes about [autism or X]? 5) What do you plan to try in coming weeks? ...

"You don't understand…." When a parent starts a conversation with those words, I know to anticipate a long list of what I don't appreciate as the person with challenges, compared to the parent of a disabled child. It is both a logical and an absurd statement. I've never been another color, another gender, another nationality, or another religion — yet I would assume most people try to understand and appreciate the experiences of people from other groups. I know my childhood friends with Spanish surnames were treated unfairly by some teachers. I know people assume I know about cars, while it is my wife who is the engineer. You can appreciate without total understanding — because even within a group the experiences differ. No, I am not a parent. I am not a caregiver. But, to assume I don't empathize is to accept one of the worst stereotypes of both autism spectrum disorders and mental giftedness. While I might not translate empathy quickly, I definitely ...

I saw this graphic on Facebook yesterday, and wanted to share it. I have included similar information on this blog and in my other writings. Trying to socialize is exhausting. Visit Karla's ASD Page While it might be more difficult for someone with a variation of autism to socialize, I have written that I believe others feel the same exhaustion from our society's insistence on being charming and at ease in groups. Workplaces are socially trying for many individuals, but significantly more trying for many autistics. My wife is an introvert, and so am I. We both work from home most of the time, which is ideal for us. I do try to be more social because I realize that's how our society works. We have friends who are extroverts and they do navigate workplaces (and life in general) with greater ease.  I'm conflicted by this. I want to be left alone, but I want to have success in whatever field I am pursuing. As a writer, social skills are necessary to promote...

I met Heather Conroy just before the 2011-13 school year. The university where I teach had asked me to reach out to two students diagnosed on the autism spectrum and consider how we might support those students. I contacted a Pittsburgh organization specializing in supports for high school and college students, which led to a meeting with Heather and one of her colleagues. I encourage readers to visit her website, http://www.heatherconroy.com , for some information. - - - 1. I'd like to begin with a short introduction to my readers. How did you decided to specialize in helping young adults with ASDs navigate the school setting? A: I began working in the field, as many practitioners do, by working with young children with autism. Later, when seeking a field learning placement for my social work degree at The University of Pittsburgh, I wanted to do something slightly different and was amazed at the astounding capabilities of the college students I worked with at AHEADD (Ac...

This question was posted to the "Ask a Question" page: I currently have a bachelor's degree in Special Education. I am working on getting my Master's in Applied Behavior Analysis. I am working on a Family Perspectives Assignment. I would love to get our input on what children and family needs are not met and what I can do as a future teacher. I have read some of your posts and feel that your [insight] would be very valuable. Specifically, I am looking for what teachers and educators can do to help families as a whole. There is no single answer to this question. Every set of families is different, depending on where you teach, the grade level(s), school district policies, and much more. Helping families in urban Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, or Detroit is not going to be like teaching in a "Super Zip" suburb dotted with McMansions. I live in a rural area with above-average median incomes and respected school districts. There are two autism specialists nearb...

A Facebook fan — and thanks to everyone following us on FB and Twitter — asked if I could address problems with "fitting in" with same-age peers. A good topic, and a difficult one. The challenge is that there are two different "stages" I'm learning about among autistic individuals. As children, many high-functioning autistics seem to deal better with adults. As adults, the opposite seems to be the case, with autistics relating better to children. The challenges make sense, though, as I will explain. As a child, the individual with Asperger's or any "high-functioning" ASD diagnosis is likely drawn to concrete thinking, pattern recognition, and might be an "expert" on a few subjects of special interest. Compared to his or her peers, the autistic seems "advanced" because some skills we associate with greater chronological ages appear early. These are not social skills, however. The interest in topics and things, compared to ...

A week ago I travelled into Pittsburgh, PA, to meet with Heather and Paula from AHEADD, an organization that provides additional supports beyond what colleges and universities offer to students with cognitive differences. These were impressive and energetic women dedicated to working with students. Heather earned an MSW from the University of Pittsburgh and Paula has an M.Ed from Ohio University. The sad reality is that many of our colleges and universities do not have such qualified people working with students with ASDs, ADD/ADHD or other neurological challenges. AHEADD was founded because even great universities cannot meet the perceived needs of some students: Carolyn Komich Hare founded AHEADD in 2002, when she piloted the program in response to a parent's inquiry regarding the availability of specialized support for her daughter, a student with Asperger's Syndrome who would be returning to Carnegie Mellon University following a year's leave.  AHEADD Provides: Coa...

Based on comments several months ago to this blog, I spent a few "extra" hours this summer contacting college and university offices that serve students with special needs. The names of these offices vary, from Disability Services to Disabled Student Support, but regardless of what an institutions calls "Disability Services" it was easy to locate and contact the directors, managers, or coordinators of these programs. A few heads of DS also carry the title "professor" and teach within academic departments in addition to their other duties. My motivation was personal, since I research students with ASDs and higher education. The more I know about students receiving supports, the better. But, it turns out that as my doctoral study data suggests, not many students with ASDs have sought disability supports. Most of the leaders of these programs have worked in disability services for many years. For example, the director of the Resource Office on Disabilitie...

Over at About.com, Lisa has posted the story of a parent. This parent credits hard work for the success of her child with autism. I don't disagree that parental involvement helps every child, but I also don't believe that parents can help every child with autism become an independent adult. Let's be bluntly, even brutally, honest with ourselves. I have met parents who did as much as my own parents, from physical therapies to demanding the schools do better to meet my needs. These parents have spared no amount of time or effort to help their children, often sacrificing dual incomes to have one parent at home full-time. And yet, for all their efforts, there is negligible improvement, beyond what might be expected as an autistic child ages. Yes, improvement, but not enough to live independently or to have the types of social connections the parents envisioned. You can spend all the time and energy humanly possible on the "recovery" of your autistic child and no...

As many of my readers know, I worked with the Center for Teaching and Learning at both the University of Minnesota and our sister system, the Minnesota State Colleges and Universities. Today, I received a shocking letter from the Director of Faculty Development: the CTL is closing, systemwide. This decision is significant because it was through CTL that I conducted seminars for faculty on how to meet the needs of students with autism spectrum disorders and other cognitive special needs. The closure means less faculty development, less awareness, and an increased likelihood that students with ASDs will struggle in the university settings. I am already an underemployed Ph.D., with a unique specialization in autism and language instruction. My Ph.D. also includes "Rhetoric" in its title. Well, it is time for some persuasive rhetoric from educators, parents, and advocates. If we do not explain that not-training faculty members will eventually increase the costs to society of ...

The following deals with an issue as delicately as possible: Has the recent Tucson shooting increased the likelihood that students with autism spectrum diagnoses might be mistaken for safety risks? At first, I was taken aback by the issue. Then, I realized it isn't new. Students with ASDs already have to battle misunderstandings and cultural biases. Several college and university students with ASDs write to me on a regular basis. I do my best to answer their questions, but I don't always have good answers. Sometimes, I can help or at least offer a little guidance towards where the right answer might be. Then there are the answers that leave me depressed. I'm going to paraphrase a question from a student, as best I can while still conveying his concerns. I have promised to do my best not to reveal much about the student. However, he's actually one of many with these experiences. I am a master's student. My adviser recently told me that other students are uncom...

I am sick and tired of the "Bill Gates has AS" and "Big Bang Theory is about a group of people with ASDs" lines of advocates who think they are helping. And yes, I've mentioned this to the other Ph.D.s with autism… of which I am one. It is rare to be a genius or a great artist or a professor. It is rare to be on the Fortune 400 or to be performing on Broadway. Autism is not a superpower. It is a difference. I've met people with AS and PDD-NOS diagnoses who feel horrible about themselves because they aren't "smart like Temple or special like Tammet." The reality is, few people are! We should not be making people feel guilty for not living up to a mythology. Only ten percent of people with any form of autism display savant abilities. Ten percent. Yes, that his much higher than the general public, but it is still one in ten, not three-fourths, on half, or even a quarter of people with ASDs. And those of us with "special talents" are not...

I have been informed that the university considers autism spectrum disorders a “low incidence” concern. Therefore, the university sees no reason to increase support resources for these students or to expand faculty and staff training. In other words, after a cost-benefit analysis it has been decided that there’s not enough benefit to be gained. I suppose until someone pushes a demonstrable ADA claim or a bias case, the university can continue to ignore ASD’s unique complexities. Why bother investing in students who might have special skills? Why would we want students with unusual abilities if they include complex needs? Much easier to ignore the unusual…. This month’s Wired magazine (March, 2008) includes mention of the special skills possessed by some autistics. Not merely the savants, but “regular” autistic individuals posses unique spatial and mathematical skills. The methods ASD students use to analyze problems sometimes provide new insights. Different brains produce differ...

Thanks to a complete breakdown in the University's system and a professor I will never forgive, I endured a trip to the Office for Student Conduct and Academic Integrity . It was a stupid situation and far too much for my system. Before the meeting I was already in sorry shape. This is a meeting that should never have been held if anyone at the university cared about my health. I knew it would be damaging. Susan ended up meeting with the office representative, leaving me alone in a room. Alone, while other people talked about me. Alone, with too much on my mind. Alone… desperately wanting to go home. By the time Susan returned to the room, my knuckles on both hands were bleeding. I had scraped the skin by pounding rhythmically on the floor. I'm not exactly sure how I ended up sitting on the floor, under a table, exhausted. My back was bruised, badly, from rocking against a brick wall with external power conduits. This absolutely stupid meeting left me bloody, bruised, and sore....