The Autistic Me

I am not shy, as most people who get to know me soon realize. I am, however, something of an introvert and selective when it comes to interactions. If I am interested in a person or a topic, it's easy to recognize that I overcome any social anxiety and engage. I narrowly focus, though, often to the point of ignoring other people or social niceties. If I'm talking about anything of interest to me, I am consumed by that topic at that moment. Nothing else registers. Yes, I like to hide in corners and avoid crowds. But, that does not mean I am shy — it means I know my limitations and how uncomfortable I can make people. I can be intense when discussing my interests, so it is often best not to talk to anyone in a new setting. I find it safest to avoid public gatherings and group situations; they are seldom enjoyable or of interest to me. When they are of interest to me, I don't navigate the social aspects well at all. I miss the non-verbal signals of when to move on, wh...

I have a text file I maintain with question and topic suggestions for each of my blogs. Many of the questions to The Autistic Me open with, "I didn't want to post this publicly…" and then proceed to ask questions that range from the obviously personal to those I suppose relate to a private matter. Most of these questions are not about my private life — but asking the question reveals what someone else must be struggling with in life. Allow me to post a few of these topics and some short responses. Q: I am being bullied at work/school/local club. Ask a friend or family member what they suggest. I am the least qualified person imaginable to answer that question, since I tend to simply leave situations I dislike. If I don't like my work space, I leave the job as soon as possible. If I felt uneasy with a teacher, I would try to take a different course. If I don't like a social group, I stop attending the meetings. My method isn't the best approach for mos...

I will be participating in two upcoming events this month. The first event is for students and faculty at the university where I work. The second is a panel roundtable at a high school in Pittsburgh, PA. If your school or organization would like me to discuss autism, special education, or literacy issues, please do not hesitate to ask. AHEADD Panel on Autism and Higher Education Monday October 17th Central Catholic High School  4720 Fifth Avenue, Pittsburgh, PA 5:30-7 p.m. Room 108/109 Please contact AHEADD for more information: http://www.aheadd.org/ Phone Toll-Free: 1-877-AHEADD-1 The AHEADD Panel is open, but you do need to contact AHEADD to RSVP. Campus-Only Event The RMU event, which is tomorrow night, gives me hope that faculty and staff might be interested to learn more about ASDs and higher education. I'm hoping some faculty might see this announcement and consider attending: Services for Students with Disabilities Dinner "Autism and Higher ...

A few days ago, someone commented that I looked exhausted. I was asked if this was the results of the ongoing bronchitis battle and the flooding issues with our house. Most people would have agreed or said something simple to dismiss the question. The problem with being exhausted is that I end up answering questions bluntly. "I'm tired of being around so many people," I answered. "I need some time to recover." I had attended two conferences, one on Friday and another on Saturday. That meant dealing with people — and trying not to mess up too badly. I'm sure the second conference went poorly, since I was too tired to monitor myself effectively. The first conference, however, went relatively well because I arrived, spoke, and left. That's always the best way for me to deal with situations. Leave before I have to deal with too many one-on-one interactions. Speaking to a group, as I did on Friday, is relatively easy. I don't have to be polite, beca...

I will be participating in an Autism / Asperger's Syndrome forum for families on Monday, May 23, in St. Cloud Minnesota. The event is at Apollo High School from 6:30 p.m. until 8:00 p.m. The address is: Apollo High School 1000 44th Ave N St Cloud, MN 56303 The roundtable discussion is for parents, young adults, and teens. I believe there will be a short introduction by the autism support specialists for District 742. Arc Midstate, a non-profit dedicated to life-long services for individuals with special needs, will also have someone on hand to answer questions. For more information: Arc Midstate Minnesota http://www.arcmidstate.org/ This event will likely be the last appearance I have in Minnesota, at least for a few years. I will always appreciate the generosity of the Midstate schools and organizations.

Friday I had to make a round-trip to Pittsburgh, via commuter jet. I hate flying. I hate the supposed "security" measures that cause long lines for minimal actual security. I hate the cramped jets, too. Flying simply isn't fun -- it is hours of stress. I didn't have much choice, either. I don't belong to any "Sky Miles" program, so I have to deal with the longer lines. I don't like to fly enough to want to have frequent flier miles. Ideally, I wouldn't fly more than once every two or three years. I didn't have to go through any new scanners, didn't have to be carefully inspected, etc. No, I just had to stand in a security line for an hour and ten minutes. That's insane. Of course people get angry with the system: it is stupid. The smell of airline Biscoff cookies ( http://www.biscoff.com/ ) still lingers in my mind. I don't mind the cookies, but the mix of peanut and cookie smell on the plane was overwhelming. Actually, I love the...

I haven't had much time for personal writing, even the creative writing I have been pursuing this year. I've made two public speaking appearances this month, both two hours long. Thankfully, one was a panel discussion so I wasn't speaking nearly as much. The academic job hunt has continued, subdued after last year. The applications have also taken a great deal of time. One university required four applications, though all four fell under one job description. I'm certain there's a legal reason for this, but it was a lot of work because they wanted so many documents. Not only did you have to submit the documents online, they asked applicants to mail copies of the documents, too. The main reason I've only managed eight-hour days is that I'm dealing with some medical issues. I am anemic, with severely low hemoglobin and iron levels. Last time this happened, two years ago, I ended up spending Christmas Eve in the hospital getting a blood transfusion. On the posit...

Before I head off to Dallas for the Autism Society of America National Conference, I thought I'd engage in a bit of shameless self-promotion. I have created an "online brochure" for my public speaking: http://www.autisticplace.com/csw/index.html If you want to learn more about me, there is an essay posted about my formal evaluations for autism. I have been speaking at conferences, university seminars, and organization events for a decade. Most of my public appearances have addressed language arts education, especially children's literature. Speaking on autism issues came about by accident, when instructors asked me to address their graduate seminars at several universities. This is more about reaching out to audiences than earning much money. I'm not a "superstar" academic; I'm only one adult with an ASD and a few minor physical disabilities. Whatever I have to say only reflects what I have learned through experience and a handful of research project...

I'll be speaking at the St. Cloud, MN, public library December 3 at 7:30 p.m. The topic will be adults with autism spectrum disorders. The sponsor is the Asperger's Support Network, online at: http://www.aspergerssupportnetwork.org/ The event is free and the ASN meets on a regular basis to support individuals in the "mid-state" region of Minnesota.

The raw text of my presentation for the Autism Society of Minnesota state convention, Surviving the College Years, is now online at: http://www.autisticplace.com/wiki I am speaking tomorrow afternoon, but attending the conference for most of the day. My hope is to promote both The Autistic Place and my individual Web pages, within reason. I am hopeful that I can reach out to more students online than I ever could via public speaking — which is something I find stressful. My airline reservations are also set for the ASA convention, where I will be speaking July 11, I believe.

I recently spoke at the Autism Society of Minnesota. It was a good experience, overall, and I think the audience enjoyed the presentation. When I speak, I never know how well things went, but my wife noticed the comments people made because she was sitting in the audience. AuSM has graciously asked me to repeat the presentation at their annual convention. The AuSM 2008 Annual Convention will be in Minneapolis, April 30 through May 3. I look forward to having a larger audience before I travel to Orlando for the national ASA conference. When I speak to a audience of parents and teachers, I feel like I'm making a genuine difference. When I sit and write, I'm never sure that others are affected. Despite being nervous when speaking, there's a real sense of connection during a presentation.

I am scheduled to speak at a workshop sponsored by the Autism Society of Minnesota on January 23, in St. Paul. If anyone cares to meet me and hear me ramble about university students with autism spectrum disorders, this is a good opportunity. (Visit http://www.ausm.org for more information.) The Autism Society of America has also invited me to conduct one of their 75-minute conference sessions at the 39th Annual ASA National Convention. This event will be in Orlando July 9-12. I'll post more details once I know the date and time of my conference session. (Visit http://www.autism-society.org for more information on ASA.) As always, I do my best to meet individually with parents, teachers, and students to offer whatever advice / insights I can.

In the last two weeks, I spoke at two universities, prepared two elaborate brochures, and continued analyzing research dealing with online communities and autism. To be blunt: I'm exhausted. And yet, tonight or tomorrow I will submit another proposal to present my research to a conference. Though I am tired, I also think my efforts are making a difference. That makes the discomfort, the nervousness, the anxiety, all worth it. Maybe one parent or teacher will learn something that will improve the educational experience of a strange student like me! I have done much better this year when speaking to groups on autism and developmental disorders. Maybe I'm more comfortable with the notion that I'm not "normal" and that's just the way life is. More comfortable isn't the same as "at ease" when speaking. But, I am doing better in public forums. Best of all, I received a thank-you note tonight from a professor. That did mean a lot to me. Maybe ...

When I get nervous, like most people I stutter and stumble over words. I simply stumble more often than a lot of people. Speaking smoothly, clearly, and properly is an essential part of succeeding in life. It's shallow, certainly, but I certainly admit that I'm also not above making quick judgments based on how someone speaks. I definitely judge people on grammar and vocabulary. Worse, I do form opinions based on strong accents. That's human nature, but it isn't right. I speak very well if I rehearse ahead of time and stick to a visualized script. I can even do well with an outline, but I need a crutch. When I speak to a group, I see the words visually, as opposed to "hearing thoughts." This can cause stumbling, but usually it works to my advantage. Speaking slowly to a group is never a bad thing. Something I plan to write about at length in another journal entry is how I won my one and only election campaign. Let's be honest and admit it wasn...