The Autistic Me

Years ago, when I entered graduate school, I imagined helping students and teachers connect via technology. I wanted to study "writing across the curriculum" and online writing labs. These interests led me to a doctorate… but by the time I completed the degree I recognized that my career was already off my planned course. When I decided that writing about autism and education would be beneficial to someone, beyond myself, part of that decision was based on the (yes, we should admit this) trendiness of disability studies and all things diversity-based. I could do some good, and the topic would be desired by other academic scholars. It was a win-win. Instead, I found myself drifting back and forth between what I love (creative writing and the rhetoric of fiction) and what I believed I had to do to secure a teaching job (something autism-related). Not that I don't care about autism, but it isn't nearly the interest for me that it is for some other autistic scholars...

When I attend events like the recent Autism Society national conference, it reminds me that we do a lousy job reaching out to parents and providers with a broader set of experiences. Bluntly, the attendees tend to be white, middle-class, and female. That doesn't mean that there are not minority voices, or that there aren't some fathers present, but the gatherings are not reflective of our communities richness. Conferences are expensive to attend, time-consuming, and not really something I do for social purposes. I admittedly skip the "town hall" gatherings, the fundraising gala, and other events. I walk the vendor exhibits when the hall is least crowded, often right after lunch. So, the events are not for everyone. Yet, they shouldn't seem so exclusive, either. How can we attract more voices to the conference? I'm not sure, but when you are an insular group, even without meaning to be exclusive, you don't learn as much as you could. The problem is,...

I am scheduled to participate on a panel at the 2013 Autism Society Conference: Friday, July 12, 2013 3:30 PM - 4:45 PM David L. Lawrence Convention Center Pittsburgh, PA. The topic is broad: life. That's a lot to cover in the 15 minutes each of four speakers will be granted. I don't know what I can say in 15 minutes, but I'll give it a shot. The moderator has offered the following ideas: What did family do for you? What were your school experiences? What was a help and what was not helpful? How has your adult life developed? What are you doing and what would you like to do? What are your sensory issues? Do you have friends or relationships? The quick answers, if I choose to tackle these topics in the short amount of time allotted: Family, especially my mother, did whatever they could to guarantee a "normal" childhood. School was a miserable experience, even through graduate school. That's how many people would answer, including those wit...

Autism Society National Conference  July 10-13, 2013 David L. Lawrence Convention Center Pittsburgh, PA http://www.autism-society.org/get-involved/conference/conference-sessions.html Title: Collaboration Conundrum: Mastering Group Projects At School and Beyond Content Area: Social Skills Target Audience: Adolescence and Adulthood Understanding Level: Intermediate Description: Schools and workplaces embrace collaboration, assuming that groups engaged in brainstorming, crowdsourcing, and agile development produce better ideas than individuals. Although new scholarship raises questions about the benefits of collaboration (Cain 2012), our cultural bias towards extroversion and social interaction means navigating collaborative projects is an important life skill for autistic students and adults. Schools claim to appreciate different learning styles, but they overlook different social styles. This presentation explores how autistic people can succeed in collaborative...

Many of the comments I receive regarding the blog are sent to me directly. For some blog posts, the majority of comments are not posted to this blog, though some might appear on Facebook or via Twitter. I have wondered why some topics lead to fewer public replies. Last night, a question asked concerned my previous post on being uncomfortable among writing and rhetoric professors at a conference. Did I believe the discomfort was related to autism? Is it an autistic trait to be uncomfortable in some academic situations? That's a good question. I know my personality and I know what autistic adults told me during my doctoral research: I do fit the stereotype of preferring academic subjects that are "apolitical" and "objective" in nature; the STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) subjects are comfortable. I'd add to that list business, architecture, film production, and similar fields that stress applied knowledge over theory. Though I am a writ...

A few days ago, someone commented that I looked exhausted. I was asked if this was the results of the ongoing bronchitis battle and the flooding issues with our house. Most people would have agreed or said something simple to dismiss the question. The problem with being exhausted is that I end up answering questions bluntly. "I'm tired of being around so many people," I answered. "I need some time to recover." I had attended two conferences, one on Friday and another on Saturday. That meant dealing with people — and trying not to mess up too badly. I'm sure the second conference went poorly, since I was too tired to monitor myself effectively. The first conference, however, went relatively well because I arrived, spoke, and left. That's always the best way for me to deal with situations. Leave before I have to deal with too many one-on-one interactions. Speaking to a group, as I did on Friday, is relatively easy. I don't have to be polite, beca...

I haven't been able to blog this week and might not have much time until next week. I'm on the road, with my wife "holding down the fort" (and the cats) while I'm away. I'll only be home with her for less than 24 hours and then I'm on the road again. I'm exhausted and that's never a good thing. Last night I hit my breaking point. Thankfully, I left the conference hotel three hours before my flight so I could sit here in the airport and relax. Yes, the airport with all its sounds, smells, and vibrations is a better place than the hotel was. Here, I can sit and decompress before the flight. Last night was one of those nights when I was "so over" people, as a friend says. I just wanted to sit in the hotel room and watch "In Plain Sight" and "White Collar." People can be very annoying, especially when they've had drinks. After putting up with the mean-spirited nonsense of someone important for long enough, I quic...

I will be hosting a presentation and discussion on autism and relationships during the Arc Midstate Annual Conference. The description is: Autism and Developing Interpersonal Relationships - This can be a challenge for students and adults with autism spectrum disorders. This frank discussion explores the positive and negative experiences shared by most people, but with an emphasis on how autism is an additional obstacle to relationships. How can family, friends, caregivers, and educators help nurture the skills necessary for rewarded social connections? What are the challenges faced by individuals with ASDs and how can specific challenges be addressed? Remember, I am talking to parents and educators with the potential for some teens in the audience. My comments are addressed to the parents, but they are meant for everyone. Portrayals of people with ASDs range from the anti-social hermit to the oblivious stalker. The reality is more complex. Some people are social, some are not. We ...

I will hosting a breakout session at this event near St. Cloud, Minnesota: Potpourri for Providers XII  Regional Annual Conference  Saturday, February 26, 2011 Sauk Rapids-Rice High School You can contact Arc Midstate at: http://www.arcmidstate.org/ Registration Fee $49 Register Early! Conference enrollment is limited Deadline to register: February 15, 2011 The presentation will be: A-4 Autism and Developing interpersonal relationships - This can be a challenge for students and adults with autism spectrum disorders. This frank discussion explores the positive and negative experiences shared by most people, but with an emphasis on how autism is an additional obstacle to relationships. How can family, friends, caregivers, and educators help nurture the skills necessary for rewarded social connections? What are the challenges faced by individuals with ASDs and how can specific challenges be addressed? If you live in Minnesota, this is one of the best special educ...

Ari and members of ASAN deserve credit for trying to increase awareness of adults with autism and their unique needs. They are voices that should be heard. But, what of adults with autism spectrum disorders who disagree with some dominant ASAN positions? It often felt those were not only unwelcome, but disliked by ASAN members. Understand: I encourage people to learn about ASAN and know that it is serving an important purpose. If your personality is suited for it, I think ASAN would benefit from gaining more members who can work within an activist organization. I'm definitely more restrained in my mindset. I'm also not aligned with the dominant political views of ASAN members, which was uncomfortable. Over time, ASAN will evolve and I have great hope that it will develop into an organization with divergent views. Ideally, there will be a realization that we want services, supports, and tolerance. Not all autistic people share the same views on autism. At the Autism Society of A...

This post links back to Comet's Corner and I encourage visitors to read the comments there. One of the important questions we face right now is how to help individuals locate employment. This is a problem across all socioeconomic divisions and for people with or without any special needs. But, what can we do for individuals with ASDs? Is there anything we can do right now? At the Autism Society of America conference, I was asked several times if I had any career / general employment tips for people with ASDs. While I have some advice, the reality is that in the current high-unemployment environment it is not unusual for gifted college graduates to be unemployed. Things are tough, period. I do have a presentation I use when talking about job skills and ASDs, but those skills don't matter to people who cannot even get job interviews. So, maybe some of my readers have general job hunting tips. I can offer advice on workplaces and their complexity, but first you have to be in a wo...

It is no secret that I struggle in social situations, including large conferences. So the question is asked why I attend events like the Autism Society of America National Conference, which is this week in Dallas. The simple answer is that I do learn a lot, both "academically" and socially. Today I met author and blogger Lisa Jo Rudy. She has a book out on how to have fun -- an essential mental health skill when living with someone diagnosed with autism. To learn more about her books and general science writing, visit her website: http://www.lisarudy.com Honestly, I don't think my wife and I take enough time to relax. Much of what we would consider "fun" is still intellectually stimulating. They say children learn significant lessons during "free play" (unstructured time). For me, that unstructured time would be spent meandering museums or gardens. Sometimes, you do need to let your mind wander in order to learn even more. I always thought I learned a...

Before I head off to Dallas for the Autism Society of America National Conference, I thought I'd engage in a bit of shameless self-promotion. I have created an "online brochure" for my public speaking: http://www.autisticplace.com/csw/index.html If you want to learn more about me, there is an essay posted about my formal evaluations for autism. I have been speaking at conferences, university seminars, and organization events for a decade. Most of my public appearances have addressed language arts education, especially children's literature. Speaking on autism issues came about by accident, when instructors asked me to address their graduate seminars at several universities. This is more about reaching out to audiences than earning much money. I'm not a "superstar" academic; I'm only one adult with an ASD and a few minor physical disabilities. Whatever I have to say only reflects what I have learned through experience and a handful of research project...

Increasingly, I am aware of the "communities" to which I don't belong. An overused word in the humanities, "community" is more than a group of people with some minor similarities. A community has to have some manner of unified sense of purpose. I belong to several organizations without any desire to interact with other members or associates. I don't attend any regular meetings of any organization. When I attend conferences, I try to arrive close to when I am scheduled to speak and then depart as soon as possible. Bluntly, people often annoy me. People are cliquish. They want to be around people like themselves, which means I find myself outside most "communities" to which I am expected to relate. When my wife and I first moved, I tried to attend one social gathering of an organization -- but left before the event began. I couldn't tolerate the setting, which was a restaurant with a decidedly political decor. Maybe that doesn't matter to mos...

Summer is conference season. I honestly don't follow the "autism community" and did not know there was an autism conference for individuals with ASDs. The "Autreat" is currently underway, but I thought I'd mention it so people could learn more about the sponsor and consider future events. Autism Network International Autreat 2010: Living Life the Autly Way June 28 - July 2, 2010 Bradford, Pennsylvania http://www.autreat.com/ I can't say much about ANI or Autreat. I'm sure there is much more to the conference and I'd learn a lot from any presentations. I find the title of the conference odd; I don't know what "autly" is and the suggestion of a "way" to live doesn't appeal to me. Still, I generally dislike conference titles. The "big event" within the autism community is probably the ASA conference. Autism Society of America 41st Annual Autism Society National Conference and Exposition will be held July 7-10, 2...

I managed one partial day of an academic conference. The conference was from Wednesday through Sunday at noon. I attended four hours in the middle of Friday and that was more than enough for my system. Enough to attend a single presentation and give my own presentation before needing to recover from the social interactions. I had hoped to last longer and attend most of the Friday and Saturday events and sessions. Unfortunately, the stress of being in an unfamiliar setting meant I started Friday a bit late. After trying to attend the luncheon, which was in a large and noisy ballroom, I had to sit in a room alone for an hour before delivering my own presentation. After my presentation, I returned to the hotel and soon fell asleep. I decided it was definitely best to return home on Saturday. From Thursday through Saturday, I hadn't eaten a meal. Getting home was essential. The drive, all 612.5 miles each way, was actually relaxing. Just me and my favorite music. It was preferable to t...

The academic job hunt is over, concluding after 61 applications and near-exhaustion. I did not locate a post at a college or university and do not intend to look again next year. My Ph.D defense is May 11. That, and a handful of remaining conference appearances, will mark the end of my time in academia -- at least until a university invites me to teach based on my creative writing success. That is not sarcasm. I have faith in my writing. Plan A was to complete the Ph.D and locate a tenure-track post, enabling us to have something of a normal life. I'd write and teach. Plan A is inoperative. Plan B was to find work locally, allowing us to save money towards moving back to California. To date, this has proven to be an unsuccessful plan. I have "Monster.com" and Indeed alerts, but this is a lousy job market. Researching teaching K-12 again, I realized that teaching in a state that is closing dozens of schools isn't promising. So, onward… Plan C, the current operational o...

It has been three days since I attended an academic conference. I only attended one of the two days, knowing I was not doing well physically. I'm still "shaky" -- the best adjective I can conjure at the moment. It is like my senses are turned up a notch even more than usual. My assumption is that when I am tired I cannot block the input. The refrigerator, the ceiling fan, even the buzzing of lights are distracting me. I was listening to music to block out everything else. Today was going to be a day out of the house, to sit and write at a bookstore. Instead, I'm too tense to drive. Every pothole would be annoying, not to mention the struggle I have driving in our neighborhood anyway. The bookstore, with the people and associated input, would have been miserable. I hate being tense like this. Three days of wanting to hide under covers and avoid the world. Tomorrow I have to teach and Wednesday I'm heading to an audio store to replace my Jeep's radio and two spe...

I attended a regional academic conference on Friday and had planned to attend Saturday, but one full day left me completely exhausted. I presented on autism and writing courses, in particular how we might better accommodate the needs of students with ASDs in our classrooms. I presented during the last hour of day, from 4 to 5 p.m., which is never a good time to present. That's especially true of a holiday weekend when people leave early. My presentation left me with the sense that at least some in the audience thought I didn't understand autism. I concluded this when they offered stories about their experiences. Unfortunately, anecdotes are not data and personal experiences are not the same as statistics on course attrition. Hopefully, everyone understands that data on any group are generalizations -- and generalizations never apply to individuals. When someone suggested I didn't know much about her particular student with Asperger's Syndrome, I tried to explain that th...

The ASA has said they want presenters to upload files as PowerPoint slides, asking that their laptops and equipment be used at the Dallas conference this summer. Am I the only person most comfortable using my computer, with my keyboard quick keys and usability settings? (I see 20/400, so I magnify the Mac screen and have shortcuts for routine tasks coded in AppleScript and Automator.) My computer has a name. I know, it's silly, but my computers are named for specific cartoon characters. The server and printers are also named. I think of tasks in these terms. In a public space, I rely on the security of the familiar. Even when I speak to hundreds of people at a conference, I drag Wakko along. He's tweaked for my use. Maybe it's too weird. I can even tell the difference between Mac keyboards, since keys "travel" and "bounce" differently. I like my computer. I don't like using other systems. I hate it. I also write on a specific type of paper, with a s...