The Autistic Me

Last week my grandfather was abruptly hospitalized. He died Wednesday night, at the age of 93. I haven't processed this loss, in part because we now live so far away that I haven't seen family in a few years. Moving was a good thing  for us, but it does weaken links to family and friends left behind. I don't want to post much about my grandfather. He was good man and I couldn't write anything adequate. He was the quiet calm in my father's family. Loyal, honest, and caring. Nothing meant more to him than family — and you didn't need to be related by blood to be in his family. It has been an exhausting few weeks and a tiring year. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to keep the blogs updated. This year, we've experienced a few difficult moments. My wife had her first-ever minor surgeries (plural, because we never do anything half-way), our little Muttly died of cancer (third cat to die of cancer in the two years we've lived here), I switc...

Someone asked me if I suggest a pet for children with special needs. That question struck me as odd. Shouldn't everyone have an animal in his or her life? I love animals. I don't think of it as pet ownership so much as having feline "kids" and friends. Our kids are important to us, and we have done everything we can for them. Though I try to avoid too much social contact with people, I spend as much time as possible with my cats. I think about our little family often, missing old friends no longer with us and doing all I can to love the kids still with us. Two of our cats (we have four) demand constant attention — and another demands food every two hours, but that's a different topic. Mutt and Misty are our little clingy kitties. They want to be where we are, especially if either of us might be making a lap with room for a cat. Mutt is elderly in cat years. He is deaf, has arthritic hips, and seems to get a little confused at times. His brother, Alex, is i...

Queen Mimi, the longest-lived of our "kids" passed away in my arms at 8:25 on Tuesday, May 8, 2012. As we were moving into our new house in Pennsylvania, it was obvious Mimi was getting tired. We moved her in a carrier with Misty Kitty, and the pair stayed next to each other over the first night in the house. Wednesday and Thursday, she remained in a little kitty bed in the corner of the "kids' room" of the new house. On Friday, we took her to the vet to see what might be wrong. She had lost some weight. Lab works showed her kidneys and heart were fine, but she had something wrong with her liver. The vet hoped it was nothing more serious than stress, and he seemed hopeful that if she ate enough, the symptoms might go away. If it was only a result of stress, food and water would return her to normal. The vet kept her over the weekend, to feed and hydrate her. The lab work improved significantly, but Mimi seemed tired when Susan brought her home on Monday ...

A couple of hours ago, I drove my wife to the airport. She's returning to our home in Minnesota for a few weeks. Her next visit will likely be at the end of September and last only two or three days. This move has been a challenge, especially as we maintain two houses until the previous one sells. I don't mind being somewhat alone, and I definitely prefer to be alone in my office on campus when I'm working, but being without my wife is different. She's my guide and my companion. I don't like Minneapolis, but if she's there, that's where my thoughts are. As I returned home from the airport, a storm rolled into the area with rain, lightning, and wind. It was dark and gloomy — pretty much how I felt on the way home. Today was a day we remember both first responders and those called to serve in the months and years after September 11, 2001. I can't imagine being in the military and serving for months, even a year or more, away from my family. The famil...

I'd like to introduce Misty. Since moving, I've been shopping at a PetSmart location near the university. For that entire time (a month and a week or two), Misty has been in the adoption cages. Then, last Saturday, I noticed the employees had removed her tag and were sorting some paperwork in a large white three-ringed binder. I asked if someone had adopted Misty. No. She had reached her limit with the Humane Society. Misty arrived in April and August was as long as they could give her. Misty was so calm, quiet, and even "sad" looking that she didn't attract enough attention. She had been turned over to the shelter at the age of two and half, so she isn't a cute little blue-eyed kitten. But she is adorable. She is a beautiful cat, who simply needed a home. Having had an elderly owner, according to the Humane Society, Misty was accustomed to relaxed, slow moving people. The "spunky" kittens around her in other cages would run up and stick ou...

A nice note from a reader was helpful tonight. My wife and I have been dealing with a lot this summer. July and August have been too busy and we're both exhausted. I've moved to another state, right after attending a conference for a week in Las Vegas. I had less than a full 24-hours between returning to Minnesota and driving to our new home in Pennsylvania. (And I had endured several minor foot surgeries, right before the Vegas trip and driving. Lots of pain.) Then, after the cats and I arrived, I had to deal with two plumbing emergencies, a home insurance issue, and one of our cats getting ill. For almost two months, life has been tumultuous, at best. When J.C. passed away a few days ago, it was simply too much for me. I spent a lot of time hugging J.C.'s two brothers, hoping nothing else goes wrong. Alex goes to the vet tomorrow (Tuesday) for an exam because he's been losing weight. I never imagined the boys as anything but a trio, from the day of their birth. ...

These are some rough notes from my wife and me, regarding J.C. Kitty. It was early the morning of May 1, 1995, when Scott heard the cries of kittens from the shrubs under his bedroom window. There was a stray female we called “Momma Kitty” at the apartment complex where we lived; she had given birth during a rainstorm. When Scott checked, there were three tiny kittens. We monitored them for as long as we could, before deciding the bring them inside the apartment to protect them. While we hadn’t planned on adopting them, we ended up keeping them together. In the early years, Scott would take them outside in his lap to see Momma Kitty. We’d like to think that she understood they were safe and loved. J.C. Kitty
 Julius Caesar J.C. was a soft, easy-to-purr, relaxed gentleman. Definitely not the dominating Gaius for whom he was named. His coat was fine and soft, a fluffy and cuddly boy. When we rescued the boys, J.C. was the first to climb into laps and look for people. One r...

J.C. Kitty passed away this morning, August 18, 2011. I'll write about him in a day or two. This is a very difficult loss, due to his personality and coming shy of a year after the loss of Jordan. J.C. and Jordan were the two most affectionate and playful cats with whom we've shared our lives. Animals have personalities, and J.C.'s was special. He was 16 years old and will be missed. http://theautisticme.blogspot.com/2010/10/reflecting-with-jo.html I miss Jordan almost every day. Our feline kids are family. They have each added to our lives in their own way. Fido, Simba, Jordan, J.C., and many others over the years. Cats and dogs, all of them good friends.

I wouldn't claim that the move to another state has gone smoothly for me or my wife, but it seems to have truly upset the cats more. We worried about that possibility before the move because Pumpkin and Muttley are anxious felines with stressed-out personalities. Pumpkin Kitty (aka PK) is on Prozac and the vet suggested Xanax today. He's not eating well, hiding, and hasn't been in my lap once since the move. Muttley ate tonight, which was nice, but he still wanders about screaming at the top of his little lungs. He used to cry in the old house, too, especially after Momma went to work each morning. He would be anxious around 4 p.m. when she was due home within the hour. Now, he cries and she doesn't arrive. J.C. was diagnosed with cancer the day Momma had to return to her job in another state. He had surgery the next day and seems to be doing well, all things considered. He is eating a little and drinking water. I'm sure his tough time isn't helping PK or Mu...

There is a book entitled All Cats Have Aspergers Syndrome . I definitely know our cats have not dealt well with the disruptions associated with moving. One of our cats, Pumpkin Kitty, is so anxious that he's on Prozac for kitties. He struggles even in familiar settings, but moving has been a nightmare for our little boy. He's been hiding in dark spaces, from the tubs to behind doors. He loves to hide in the closets of the new house, too. He does not want to wander the hallways and discover new places, like the other cats are doing. He wants things the way they were. Actually, I think he'd be happier all the way back in California, though he wasn't at ease there, either. Something about each move seems a bit harder on the poor guy. This move is it, though. We're going to try to stay in this new location for the rest of our kids' lives and up to our retirements. I'm in no rush to move again, either. We have had cats that only ate one brand of food. We've ...

Yesterday I spent several hours holding one of our cats, Jordan, knowing she needed love and attention. It was, sadly, the end of her battle against the ravages of age. I don't know how strange it is, but I spent much of the time telling her how much I enjoyed various things she did throughout life. I whispered to her and told her how much she had meant to me during the roughest patches of life. She would fade in and out of sleep, exhausted. I've read research pointing increasingly towards emotions, memories, and even self-awareness in animals. I want to believe that Jordan knew how much I loved her as a companion. Jordan and her sister, Mimi, have been with us for almost as long as my wife and I have lived together. That means they have been through the good and bad with us. I thought about those times a lot over the last few days as Jordan needed more care and attention. For all my shortcomings, and they are many, the one thing I am certain I have done "right" for ...

My wife and I went to the Minnesota State Fair last Thursday. There were, according to the news, 179,000 people there on opening day. I hate crowds and noise, but did okay at the fair. One reason is I knew exactly what I wanted to see, where those things were, and where the fair was least crowded. It helps to have a plan. My priority was the animals. I love the small mammals: rabbits, hares, and other little creatures. I always loved wandering the 4H and FFA displays back in Central California, too. There's something wonderful about animals. Plus, people are busy doing other things at an urban fair, so the livestock areas are a good place to be. I guess people here care more about the rides and food, but I think fairs should be a celebration of the farm life. The only problems I had were in the art exhibits. The people smelled bad, which sounds funny after wandering livestock areas. Too many people here smoke. How much do you have to smoke to smell like ashtrays? Apparently smoking...

Not even two months into the year and I am exhausted. I'm possibly the most exhausted I have been since moving to Minnesota. It is the mix of university nonsense, cold weather, aching body, renovation disorder, and so forth. When one of our "kids" became ill Monday night, it was one more thing on my mind. My kids are the closest friends I have, and I need friends right now. The university nightmare continues. I never felt like I belonged here, so having issues with any faculty member only intensifies the alienation. It isn't that I want to be liked or want to be friends with anyone here — but I definitely do not want to be disliked. I have a lot of anger and disappointment as I feel the university hasn't been very accepting of me. I mainly want to be left alone, allowed to work. Physically, I am shaking more often than I have in the past year. I shake violently at night, when I should be sleeping. I tremor and cramp, especially my right arm. The pain i...