The Autistic Me

Last week, I started preparing for the fall 2013 class I am teaching at a local university. Working on the syllabus this week has been a "good thing" because it justifies, at least a little bit, the time, money, and energy invested in the doctorate. The school routine has long been comfortable, a familiar grounding for my mind. The "year" to me remains the academic year, with August marking the start and June marking the end. I'm not sure what July is, other than filing the last year away and preparing for the upcoming year. School was not fun or enjoyable for me as a student. I was just another student, neither one of the popular people nor a complete social reject. I wasn't part of any clique, not even among the honors students. I had friends and people with whom I shared interests. As a teacher and professor, I enjoy the classroom. The workplace remains a challenge, but I anticipate it being much, much better at the new university. In part, that...

People are curious about relationships and autism; the questions asked most often when I appear before groups are about relationships. I've attempted to answer a few questions on this blog, but I never feel like I'm offering many insights. In a world in which most marriages fail and relationships seem to be transitory, I don't believe we can "blame" autistic traits for relationship issues. What we can do is recognize how autism and other forms of atypical neurology/personality do affect us and our relationships. Still, I caution readers that what I am offering is more general than "autism" and probably applies to every relationship at some time. Caveats stated, I believe the greatest challenge in my relationship with my wife is the sense that I'm unworthy of her friendship, loyalty, and companionship. The Susan is calmer, quieter, more focused, a faster reader, a better student, a much better employee… and on and on when compared to me. She has ...

I've addressed this issue in a few past blogs, generally arguing that stereotypes, even positive ones, are not helpful for a group. A positive stereotype about Asian students, black athletes, or autistic scientists is still a stereotype that ignores the experiences of individuals and creates illusions of what is normal in those groups. Geekiness and autism: Is there a connection? – GeekOut - CNN.com Blogs Yes, I'll admit I am a technically-skilled, science-loving person. But I enjoy creative writing. Even the "geek" stereotype bothers me (which is often reduced to socially awkward "nerd" and not actually technical skill, anyway). Autism, to me, is the hyper-sensitivity of the senses. It is migraines. It is seizures. It is the inability to understand social nonsense (and much of it is nonsense). It is a physical reaction to things that don't seem to cause physical / sensory reactions for other people. Autism is not about any special gifts. It'...

It seems anytime I try to point out that not every person diagnosed as autistic is a savant or a socially awkward geek, someone write to ask, "But you are a geek, right?" There's not really a good answer to that. While I'm busy trying to dispel what I consider an unfair stereotype of people with autism spectrum disorders, someone else is busy taking notes of the various ways in which I match the stereotypes. I'm not sure if that's sardonic or ironic revelry at my expense. The little bits of my personality that people notice are the bits they see in themselves or their children. The reality is, beyond the computer skills I'm not much of an archetype, though I am old enough to predate the young people diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Maybe if I had been born 20 years later, I'd be more "typical" or something. And now I present, yet more questions from the virtual mailbag on the issue of technology stereotypes. Questions have been ...

I wish I could educate far more teachers on developmental disorders and brain injuries so we don't keep pushing away some of our most gifted students. Autism spectrum disorders, frontal lobe traumas, and other conditions can cause an individual to struggle with a great many social situations, while also apparently contributing to "savant-like" gifts in other areas. The problem is pedagogical, but educators have adopted strategies for more than 30 years that encourage groups, collaboration, role playing, and other valid techniques that isolate and even alienate those with ASDs, lobe injuries, etc. In the past, we dismissed these students as "super geeks" — and like me, many were placed on "independent study" projects because teachers ran out of options. We really need to find ways to use technology to get past the social barriers, which I compare to being a non-native speaker of English. Probably a bad comparison, but I often feel I do not speak the sa...

"Did you know Bill Gates and Tim Burton are probably on the spectrum?" Can we please stop such nonsense? I wouldn't want anyone to claim to know my various mental and physical conditions, much less publicize such assumptions. We have no right to try to associate someone else with an advocacy position, as if having some celebrity with a medical condition is essential to "the cause" (meaning fundraising, usually). The more people try to associate famous people with autism, ADHD, seizure disorders, and a host of other conditions, the more I hope I'm just a intellectual oddity with some creativity -- no disorders, injuries, or special conditions involved. I think attempts to find indicators for various conditions is getting so ridiculous that every geek, techie, goth, cyberpunk, loner, poet will be classified as disabled. Not that I'm currently all of the preceding, but the checklists presented for "the spectrum" is getting absurd. Simpli...

I'm not sure if this is part of an atypical neurology or simply a personality quirk, but definitely have problems reading people. The minor examples include not knowing when someone is initiating a conversation or ending one. I also don't always notice what it is someone is really trying to discuss. It seems people introduce personal topics obliquely, which I miss almost every time. If you want to discuss how you feel about yourself, apparently the norm is to talk about someone with a similar problem or condition. This makes some logical sense, but I'll miss the point. This can make me seem like a lousy friend, I'm sure. When someone is nice, I don't always notice, nor do I always notice someone being impolite or slightly abusive. I've definitely missed "signals" from other people, positive and negative. Comments calling me "smart" or a "geek" can be misconstrued more often by me than most people. I tend to take things as...