The Autistic Me

When I was young, I wanted to be an adult. I related more to my teachers than to other students as early as first and second grade. I was interested in current events, the stock market, and science. I was an outsider among my peers. Now, I relate more to young people than to my peers. It is not an intellectual connection, but I wonder if my emotionally development stalled out at the mental age of 20-something. I was emotionally 25 at ten, and 26 emotionally in my 40s. That would be an interesting phenomena. Stuck in a narrow emotional range? Being aware that something is wrong, different about me, is a strange sensation. Do others experience this odd out of synch sensation?

An interesting, and disheartening, conversation: Writing About Autism: Not for the Autistic?? The thread on About.com represents what many of us know about the autism "community" and its coherence: there is no single community, and there is no coherence of purpose, ideals, or beliefs. Insults and attacks are the norm. Now for the "good" news: this isn't really an "autism" issue at all. If you want proof, read the comments on any political, technical, medical, or even hobbyist website. The vitriol and hatred seems to be universal, not an autism issue. You want anger? Discuss Windows vs. Linux vs. OS X. Mention your great experience with a Chevy truck on a Ford enthusiast forum. I believe that debate has raged since the 1940s. Even "IRL" (in real life) people attack and insult over silly things. I had someone say, out of the blue, "You drive a Jeep? Really? How can you own such a thing?" I can't recall why it was mentioned — ...

I have posted a follow-up to clarify "The Mediocre" for myself and others.  See " Who Are The Mediocre People? " The essence of the latest "Ask a Question" submission: What has been the biggest challenge for you in the adult life? http://theautisticme.blogspot.com/p/ask-question.html I've had a few weeks to ponder this, but a recent incident comes to mind and I think it encapsulates the greatest challenge from my perspective. There are bullies in adulthood. They try to ruin you to make themselves feel better. Bullies are those people who don't want to understand my challenges or anyone else's challenges. They want to dismiss me as "strange" or "weird" and ignore any responsibility they might have for creating overwhelming situations. People can be mean, pushy, aggressive, and generally rude. Such attitudes exhaust me. Eventually, the rude person wins, and I have to leave the situation. I can't handle pushy people,...

Work on A Spectrum of Relationships is continuing. The book on autism and relationships should be available via Amazon sometime in July. The challenge has been adding content that has value for families and autistic individuals. Also, the book can only serve a small segment of the autism community, since by definition only some autistic people want and seek social connections. We also have to admit to ourselves that some autistic children with severe cognitive impairments might make some progress with early interventions, but they will always face social limitations. Several people wanted me to address the "full spectrum" in the book. That isn't possible, at least not in a single book. Really, the most affected children, teens, and adults require highly specialized supports that are beyond what a book can offer. The best advice I can offer to families of those with the most debilitating mix of physical, intellectual, and emotional impairments is to sit down with experts a...

Last night I spoke to a group of educators, support specialists, and parents of teens with autism spectrum disorders. One of the key points during the conversation was that children with special needs grow up and become adults with special needs. Unfortunately, it is easier to raise awareness of children via the media than it is adults. A child with special needs is a great "feature story" on the local news. A child is also great for fundraising posters and images on websites. Adults with disabilities remind other adults that life is unpredictable, even cruelly absurd. Many disabilities appear as adulthood begins. Schizophrenia is one mental health condition that often appears after the age of 18, for example. Physical challenges, such as multiple sclerosis and Parkinson's also appear in adulthood. Disabled adults are a reminder that no one is impervious to life's risks. Life itself is always terminal. Children with autism now receive more supports than ever befor...

On one of the many popular autism blogs, the old myth of "no autistic adults" once again made its appearance. The argument is autism is "new" and an "epidemic" — the proof is that there are so few adults with autism receiving services. Adults don't receive many services. The laws and supports are changing, though. For now, the best census of adults with ASDs was done in the U.K. by the National Health Service. The autistic adults do exist, they just were not counted in the past. Again, from 2009: On Sept. 22, England’s National Health Service (NHS) released the first study of autism in the general adult population. The findings confirm the intuitive assumption: that ASD is just as common in adults as it is in children. Researchers at the University of Leicester, working with the NHS Information Center found that roughly 1 in 100 adults are on the spectrum — the same rate found for children in England, Japan, Canada and, for that matter, New Jerse...

A representative from WestGlenn Communications ( http://www.westglen.com/ ), a PR firm that works with non-profit organizations, asked me to review an Easter Seals survey related to adults with developmental disabilities and to consider referring readers of this blog to a video discussion. Understand that this survey was funded by MassMutual Financial Group, which has a vested interest in marketing financial planning to parents of children with disabilities. I am not going to recommend any particular company, but I do agree that those families with the ability must consider how a child with a disability will adapt to adulthood. The sad truth is that many of us with developmental disabilities are underemployed or unemployed. Surveys of adults with official diagnoses of autism spectrum disorders indicate only 17 percent have full-time employment. That leaves most dependent on public supports, friends, and family. I know that cannot be easy for parents to consider. Also, I know my per...

On another online site, a parent of a "recovering" child with autism pointedly claimed that those of us who are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders as adults are somehow not genuine. Among the comments posted to Left Brain/Right Brain ( http://leftbrainrightbrain.co.uk/ ): How does it just dawn on somebody they are on the spectrum??? How do others that are older decide they are on the spectrum??? Schools won't even take real diagnostics so none of the self made Adult Asperger's have any real claim to anything but a way to put down what helped my child to not be on the list of who you're searching for. The thread, both on LB/RB and as carried on elsewhere, is appalling. A parent actually had the gall to message me that I was not actually disabled, but was instead hiding behind the cover of autism to shill for the government and big medicine. This person argues that anyone speaking, traveling, blogging, and conducting research can't possibly have a "s...