The Autistic Me

When an autistic adult mentioned to me that he was spending a lot of time and money in cam chats, "tipping" his virtual friends, this raised a few questions for me about how much this was connected to the isolation he felt as a "very lonely Aspie" and how much is a general shift in online access to such "adult entertainment" options. If you aren't familiar with the cam world, you can read the following: Morris, Chris. (2013 Jan. 17) CamGirls: The New Porn Superstars. CNBC.com. http://www.cnbc.com/id/100385730 Richtel, Matt. (2013 Sept. 21) Intimacy on the Web, With a Crowd. NYTimes.com. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/22/technology/intimacy-on-the-web-with-a-crowd.html The more questions I asked of Lonely Aspie, the more I recognized that his problem was less about the adult nature of the online setting and more about isolation in general. Before finding the "cam girls" online, he was addicted to online games. He would spend hours ...

"Tell us what's great about your autism! What's your special gift or talent? What's your superpower?" Really? Clearly the sender (probably using an automated mailing list) isn't familiar with my blog, public statements, or other writings. I don't have superpowers, no special gifts, and no unusual talents that I would attribute only or primarily to my autistic traits. Some talents might be associated with autistic traits, but they might also be tangentially related to genius, effort, parental upbringing, or who knows what else. I've written repeatedly that I do not consider autism a gift. Not even close. I don't buy into the whole "Being disabled forced me to be better!" sloganeering. If you had to be injured to learn to be nice to other people, or an injury led you to some belief in a Supreme Purpose to life, that's fine. But my autistic traits are generally a pain to live with, literally and figuratively. Tell you what's...

My wife and I have long thought "autism" and "Asperger's Syndrome" were distinct, based on observing, meeting, and interviewing people with diagnoses within the various autism spectrum categories. There is research finding high-fucntioning autistics and Asperger's are distinct, as well, which I have cited in my own research of learning patterns and accommodation needs. Autism and Asperger's syndrome may be biologically different, study finds - Los Angeles LA | Examiner.com : There were some similarities in the brain patterns of the Asperger's and ASD participants, namely low connectivity in the region of the brain associated with language. However, the scientists noted stronger connectivity in regions of the brain than both the ASD and control groups. My diagnosis was high-fucntioning autism (HFA) which is not an official DSM-IV category, but is used by many clinicians and researchers. Often, the distinctions made by clinicians deal with language ...

English: Romance icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) The Autism Society conference, recently concluded in Pittsburgh, PA. During the conference, I appeared on a panel that dealt with general life issues. After the panel, parents and young adults approached me with questions. Every question, without exception, dealt with relationships. Nothing about education, careers, or life skills. No, every question was about relationships, from friendships to dating and beyond. Though a great number of books have now appeared, including several on dating, love, and sexuality, there seems to be an endless demand for answers. If not answers, families and individuals at least want to discuss these issues. As I've written before, I'm not sure what I can contribute to these discussions. I still believe some basic guides to dating and relationships are better than the "autistic" guides. Relationships are complex for everyone, or those bookshelves wouldn't be packed in every bo...

Love (Photo credit: praram ) My wife and I were discussing the fact that many of the adults with autism spectrum disorders I've met are, forgive me, but obsessed with finding love. It seems "love" is an overriding concern to them. This interest in love didn't seem like the interest in dating I've heard among other groups. No, this is a quest for "love" as if there isn't a (few) steps between meeting and love. Two of the self-described "Aspies" I've met were asking me to help because they were accused of stalking on college campuses. They both told me they were trying to let girls know they wanted to date because they were in love. Someone needed to explain meeting people, dating, and what "love" is — and what it is not. It turns out, they really didn't know what was "acceptable" and what was "unacceptable" when trying to meet someone and/or ask that person on a date. Polite rejections were n...

Depression scares me. I can imagine nothing worse than a lack of hope. Page after page,  Finding Kansas: Living and Decoding Asperger's Syndrome reminds the reader that many autistic teens and adults struggle with depression. As I read Aaron Likens' essays, I'm keep returning to something mentioned early in the text by his father: depression. Aaron mentions his mother briefly in an essay, stating that she's had something of an emotional breakdown. At the same time, it is clear that Aaron recognizes his own depression and its illogical nature. I tell families and individuals with autism spectrum disorders that they should work with the best clinicians they can locate (and, sadly, afford). When an ASD is accompanied by depression, anxiety disorders, or other conditions, a relationship with a medical professional with neuropsych knowledge is essential. Be careful, though — psychologists and other clinicians tend to develop biases and blinders based on their areas of ...

I know this topic is a minefield, but I happen to agree with two recent column in the New York Times. "Autism" as a label and diagnosis is being applied to too many people, especially the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. My experiences are purely anecdotal, but when I speak to groups about autism it is common that one or two young adults and/or their parents approach me to tell me that they have self-diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome. Self-diagnoses are not official diagnoses. You should always work with a clinician to determine something like an autism diagnosis. What if the individual actually has a social anxiety disorder and not an ASD? What if the individual has mild depression? There are so many "what-ifs" that I must always recommend a professional evaluation. Teachers even come to me and say, "I believe I have students with Asperger's in my class." In general, these teachers end up describing what we might call "geeks" or ...

Are you autistic because you're a geek? Or are you a geek because you're autistic? Would you even mention it during an internship interview? I've been asked numerous times if my interest in technology is somehow connected to having an "autistic" brain. However, I'm reasonably certain no one had asked if technology made me autistic. Yet, the question was asked last week. Now, I can't really argue the point too much. I'm a techie or geek or whatever you want to call me. I've loved computers since I first sat down at an Atari 800. Asking a diagnosed autistic programmer about a trend among programmers? I'm not sure I can be objective. Seeking to clarify, the programmer asked me if there was now a somewhat nonchalant, or reckless, impulse to think of all "geeks" as autistic. He described self-diagnosed Aspergers as "trendy" among some of the young programmers he has interviewed in the last year or so. It's as if codin...

A week ago I travelled into Pittsburgh, PA, to meet with Heather and Paula from AHEADD, an organization that provides additional supports beyond what colleges and universities offer to students with cognitive differences. These were impressive and energetic women dedicated to working with students. Heather earned an MSW from the University of Pittsburgh and Paula has an M.Ed from Ohio University. The sad reality is that many of our colleges and universities do not have such qualified people working with students with ASDs, ADD/ADHD or other neurological challenges. AHEADD was founded because even great universities cannot meet the perceived needs of some students: Carolyn Komich Hare founded AHEADD in 2002, when she piloted the program in response to a parent's inquiry regarding the availability of specialized support for her daughter, a student with Asperger's Syndrome who would be returning to Carnegie Mellon University following a year's leave.  AHEADD Provides: Coa...

Based on comments several months ago to this blog, I spent a few "extra" hours this summer contacting college and university offices that serve students with special needs. The names of these offices vary, from Disability Services to Disabled Student Support, but regardless of what an institutions calls "Disability Services" it was easy to locate and contact the directors, managers, or coordinators of these programs. A few heads of DS also carry the title "professor" and teach within academic departments in addition to their other duties. My motivation was personal, since I research students with ASDs and higher education. The more I know about students receiving supports, the better. But, it turns out that as my doctoral study data suggests, not many students with ASDs have sought disability supports. Most of the leaders of these programs have worked in disability services for many years. For example, the director of the Resource Office on Disabilitie...

The State of Learning Disabilities The National Center for Learning Disabilities has published a survey that includes the following data: The U.S. Survey of Income and Program Participation survey shows the LD prevalence rate among the U.S. population (ages 6 and older) to be 1.8%, totaling 4.67 million Americans. Males are much more likely to have acknowledged learning disabilities than females. The unemployment rate for those with LD was twice that of those without LD. There are major disconnects between high school and postsecondary education which create obstacles for students with LD. Often students with LD have lower aspirations regarding their own postsecondary education. Just under 11% of undergraduates reported having some type of disability. Only 46% of students with a LD found paid employment, full or part-time, within two years of leaving school. I've read various estimates, indicating anywhere from 17% to 30% of adults with autism spectrum disorders find regular emplo...

I am pleased to announce that A Spectrum of Relationships is now available for the Nook and all Nook applications (Windows, OS X, Android, iPad) for only $2.99. I am thrilled to have book on both BN.com and Amazon.com. Follow the link below for BN: BARNES and NOBLE | A Spectrum of Relationships: A Guide to Understanding Social Connections for Teens and Adults with Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome by C. S. Wyatt | NOOK Book (eBook) And the Amazon link: A Spectrum of Relationships I appreciate the support of my loyal blog readers. Thank you for reading this blog each week and thank you spreading the word.

People have asked for a bit more of my story, so I have set myself the goal of finishing an autobiographical text in the next two months. That's quite an undertaking, but 58 days should be sufficient if I apply myself to the task. The real challenge is how to write an honest book that helps other individuals in some way. I'm not sure I can or will accomplish that goal. Autism spectrum disorders and the experiences that accompany ASDs are too varied for any one or any dozen memoirs to help explain what it means to be "autistic." As I did with  A Spectrum of Relationships , I'm going to post sections of the work in progress. I am not posting everything. I will be sharing primarily those sections that seem to need some reader suggestions for improvement before the complete book is revised and published. When you read the text posted, please remember that the story of "me" is told from my perspective — which includes whatever biases I have, faulty and mi...

My wife and I are currently revising A Spectrum of Relationships, which is a guide to social connections for teens and adults with ASDs. The last chapter deals with romantic relationships. Because this book is a broad overview of social situations and not a dating guide, we decided to include only a few short sections on physical relationships. Many of the questions I do receive following public appearances do deal with sexuality and romance. I know there are some texts on autism and sexuality, but I am wondering if I should prepare a separate book on those matters. Writing about sexuality is a challenge because I don't believe there are "norms" of sexuality that can be neatly organized along autistic / non-autistic lines. We can discuss studies of human sexuality and surveys of opinion on the physical and emotional aspects of relationships, but there is a lot of variety among all people. I have included a section in A Spectrum of Relationships on how some autistics repor...

Maybe I'm even more of a curmudgeon after three hours of sleep, but during an exchange with the parent of an autistic child early this morning I found myself thinking, "How stupid can you be?" That is what I thought, too. Not "how ignorant" or "how mistaken" but bluntly and definitively "how stupid" this parent seemed at that moment. I know the following is a rambling post. I'm tired and fuming a bit. If the rant is incoherent, I apologize; this is definitely a rant. Being exhausted, I'm probably not thinking as clearly as I should, but I find myself at odds with a vocal group of parents somewhat regularly. The particular topic of debate doesn't matter at the moment; what matters is that the feuding camps of the "autism community" are precisely that: feuding camps. I do not pretend to represent individuals with Kanner's classic autism disorder. I do not pretend to be a parent. I am precisely what I claim to be: one p...