Friday, October 31, 2008

Everyone Needs a Best Friend

My wife is probably the nicest person I know. Though she isn't outwardly emotional, she is kind, caring, and definitely patient with the world. It takes a lot of energy to put up with what is becoming a tiring few months. I wish I could give her a nice, long, vacation to relax -- but any vacation would be spent working on projects around the house.

She's tolerated my complaints about eye surgery, my trip to the ER, my MRI and upcoming EEG exams, and all the testing yet to come in the next two months. While dealing with my medical (mis-)adventures, she's working full-time and taking three graduate courses. Personally, I'd be a walking zombie from exhaustion with her schedule.

I'm tired of the medical exams -- no question about it. I'm tired of my eyes hurting, that's for certain. I've whined a lot about the pain, though I guess I've done okay considering the doctor literally scraped a layer (or layers) of skin from my eye.

Honestly, it does take a lot of energy to deal with the medical "experts" and the various diagnoses. From the three people I saw before they determined the problem with my vision to the ever-changing diagnoses dealing with my neurology... nothing ever seems certain. It is like the doctors guess and randomly try things.

It has to be frustrating for my wife to sit there, hearing the doctors. It's just one extra stress in life she does not deserve. We should be updating our house, relaxing, and preparing for a better
future.

Maybe, and I really do hope this is the case, this year will mark a major change in our lives. My best friend deserves a life that's not so chaotic, not so complex. A basic, traditional, enjoyable life. If this period does mark the end of so many medical appointments, that's a great thing for my wife and for me.

How she tolerates all this, I'll never know. I'm just glad she has been there for me throughout these months and in the past.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Vision and Pain

I had eye surgery October 1 and am still recovering. It is also likely that I will have another surgery, but hopefully that will wait until after I take my Ph.D exams.

When the surgeon said the surgery and recovery would be "extremely painful" at least he told the truth. The eye hurts more than anything I can recall. How bad is it? I passed out from the pain during my first follow-up exam. I mean gone, as in no clear memory of the moments before I slid to the floor.

I'll write a lot more about this, probably in my personal notes. A simple exam turned into an all-day medical misadventure. Plus, they cut one of my favorite polo shirts on the way to the emergency room. I liked it because it was a cream-beige shirt that worked well with black and blue jeans.

My vision has been giving me headaches for a year, now. The surgery was to repair something called a "dot dystrophy" possibly caused by arthritis or a similar condition. So, now I need to plan visits to a rheumatologist (?) and a neurology clinic. Nothing like another year or two of medical experts.

I wanted to explain why I'm not writing much -- not that many people read my thoughts. I'm recovering, but it is like having ice picks or something in my eye. It hurts.