Struggling to Sleep
I don't sleep well at night. I end up sitting in front of the TV, reading, or writing until I'm too exhausted to keep my eyes open... but I never seem to just go to bed and sleep like I think other people must do. My wife goes to bed and is asleep within minutes of 10:00.
It is 1:37 at the moment, and I'm writing this, surfing the Web, playing chess, anything to get tired and fall asleep. I've even taken Tylenol PM on more than one occasion merely to sleep for more than a few hours.
During the day, I can sleep. I shut down and sleep to hide from light, noise, and stress. I burrow under my covers, hide my eyes from any light, and sleep. Why can't I do that at night?
Being tired all the time is miserable. It makes it difficult to concentrate. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion, and certainly thinking in slow motion!
Could being sleepy all the time be why I never get the things done I want to finish? Or is there no connection to my productivity and sleep? Maybe there are a dozen other reasons for poor productivity. I'll have to write about those, since I have so many reasons each day for not finishing tasks. But usually, I end up needing a nap more than I need to deal with those other reasons for not being productive.
Please do not stop posting.
ReplyDeleteI will keep on visiting this blog for now on.
As a 16 year-old kid who has suffered and beat social anxiety disorder I can relate to everything you have written here.
It severely debilitated me since I was 10, and I finally shook it off last year when I was a freshman. Now I am just a normal kid. I give speeches to the school now and then. I write for the school newspaper, and I am the most vocal and opinionated one on it lol. I have friends, and I talk all the time.
I used to not be able to look at people. I would get severe migraines. I would collapse every time I walked into the doorway after school and just cry for an hour or two. I would silently cry to myself during the BR in lunch at school. I had myself in a very, very deep and sick cycle.
One time I can remember sitting in the hallway by myself pretending to study, but I couldn't because of the anxiety, but I wouldn't dare look up either. I would just turn the page every few minutes. My leg fell asleep, but I was too afraid to move. I sat there with my leg asleep for 30 minutes. I was in so much pain.
I can relate to the sensory overload too, although I attribute this to my anxiety. Just know that there is hope. If I can turn around then anyone can. Probably my only fear now are girls ;)
Could you go a little more into how you were diagnosed? I'm curious. Experts can be wrong you know. I had tons of symptoms which now I realize were attributed to my anxiety. I don't want you to label yourself. I seriously thought I had something wrong with me. I thought I was defected and possibly autistic.
Check out: socialanxietysupport.com
It has a forum with a great group of people.
"J"
I've never been shy, though I prefer to avoid social situations. In fact, the primary reason with avoiding too much social contact is the lack of impulse control -- saying too much, being too blunt, not understanding social norms or cues very well.
ReplyDeleteI am writing a full-length biography, which deals with how autistic traits may have come to exist in my case, but it is only a guess on the part of the neurologists. There is, however, a link between siezure disorders and autism.