Skip to main content

Stressors and Life

The line between anxiety disorder and whatever it is I am is often too blurred to matter.

Since my first semester at the university fell apart, the second and now the third bring nothing but dread. A lot of dread. I wish it were different, but there's so many other things also occurring in life that school is just one more thing -- and the thing I enjoy the least, slightly ahead of driving in Minnesota and taking public transit. The problem is that school merges all of my issues into one bundle.

The urban setting of the campus, unlike the campus where my department was based, makes me tense. It is noisy, dirty, and unpleasant. I do not like it nearly as much as the other campus.
Urban settings are not for me -- they are too intense.

I do not like public transit, but driving in the area (and parking) is nearly impossible. The stress of planning how to get to and from campus is overwhelming. I especially dread the winter months.

Normally, I need extra time to recover from stress each week. This semester, there was a scheduling problem and I will be on campus five days a week. The fear of what can happen without recovery time is causing yet more stress. You have to appreciate the circular / recursive logic of the situation.

I'm teaching a course without really knowing the past requirements used by the department. I like to be prepared far in advance, but with only thinly outlined syllabi from previous years, and no copy of the new text, I am lost. This means I will be caught trying to prepare the weekend before classes start. I like lots of preparation time; it comforts me to have extra time. Now, I worry about what I will be teaching.

I don't know when I'll have the time and energy to finish our home remodel. The state of the house bothers me, making it even harder to work on the house. I don't like the mess at all. This affects school because my books are in boxes and my desk is in the garage. I don't like the disorder at all.

Getting through this year will not be easy.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Autistic Burnout

Summer demands a lot of social energy, especially for parents. For autistics, the never-ending social calendar of summer can cause serious autistic burnout. Host C. S. Wyatt discusses his need to find a balance between social demands and self-care. Check out this episode!

Autism, Asperger's, and IQ

"Aren't people with Asperger's more likely to be geniuses? Isn't genius related to autism?" A university student asked this in a course I am teaching. The class discussion was covering neurological differences, free will, and the nature versus nurture debate. The textbook for the course includes sidebars on the brain and behavior throughout chapters on ethics and morality. This student was asking a question reflecting media portrayals of autism spectrum disorders, social skills difficulties, and genius. I did not address this question from a personal perspective in class, but I have when speaking to groups of parents, educators, and caregivers. Some of the reasons these questions arise, as mentioned above, are media portrayals and news coverage of autism. Examples include: Television shows with gifted characters either identified with or assumed to have autistic traits: Alphas, Big Bang Theory, Bones, Rizzoli and Isles, Touch, and others. Some would include

Free eBook on Autism and Relationships

This blog post is a bit unusual. I am testing to see if visitors can download a free eBook from this blog. I have linked to the file, which sits on our Web server. We have successfully tested the ePub edition of A Spectrum of Relationships . Only the abridged ePub edition is available for free at this time, not an Amazon Kindle edition, due to Amazon's policy requesting only full, commercial editions from small publishers. Until the text is revised and edited, I'm not comfortable publishing it formally. The commercial version will be released for the Amazon Kindle as well as other devices. In fact, it might be released first for the Kindle, if things go as planned. Downloading an ePub can be a challenge: some browsers try to open the file directly. To download the ePub, you might have to "right-click" and download the linked file. If you have the ePub extension installed, the FireFox browser will open the ePub correctly. A Spectrum of Relationships (ePub file) [