In the last two weeks, I spoke at two universities, prepared two elaborate brochures, and continued analyzing research dealing with online communities and autism. To be blunt: I'm exhausted. And yet, tonight or tomorrow I will submit another proposal to present my
research to a conference.
Though I am tired, I also think my efforts are making a difference. That makes the discomfort, the nervousness, the anxiety, all worth it. Maybe one parent or teacher will learn something that will improve the educational experience of a strange student like me!
I have done much better this year when speaking to groups on autism and developmental disorders.
Maybe I'm more comfortable with the notion that I'm not "normal" and that's just the way life is. More comfortable isn't the same as "at ease" when speaking. But, I am doing better in public forums.
Best of all, I received a thank-you note tonight from a professor. That did mean a lot to me. Maybe I'm not as emotional about it as some would be, but I appreciate the fact someone took the time to tell me I was worth hearing. That's nice.