Struggling to Reset
It has been three days since I attended an academic conference. I only attended one of the two days, knowing I was not doing well physically.
I'm still "shaky" -- the best adjective I can conjure at the moment. It is like my senses are turned up a notch even more than usual. My assumption is that when I am tired I cannot block the input. The refrigerator, the ceiling fan, even the buzzing of lights are distracting me. I was listening to music to block out everything else.
Today was going to be a day out of the house, to sit and write at a bookstore. Instead, I'm too tense to drive. Every pothole would be annoying, not to mention the struggle I have driving in our neighborhood anyway. The bookstore, with the people and associated input, would have been miserable.
I hate being tense like this. Three days of wanting to hide under covers and avoid the world.
Tomorrow I have to teach and Wednesday I'm heading to an audio store to replace my Jeep's radio and two speakers. I'll be tired, afterwards, but I do want to get the radio repaired. I notice static and problems with the speakers too much.
Sitting and listening to classical music helps. Sitting with the cats is good, too. The key is to realize I can't fight the sensitivity, but I can try to let fade.
The worst thing to do is to ponder upcoming conferences… which I would rather avoid, but are essential to my career if I remain in academia.
Back to caffeine-free chamomile tea and the cats.