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Struggling to Reset

It has been three days since I attended an academic conference. I only attended one of the two days, knowing I was not doing well physically.

I'm still "shaky" -- the best adjective I can conjure at the moment. It is like my senses are turned up a notch even more than usual. My assumption is that when I am tired I cannot block the input. The refrigerator, the ceiling fan, even the buzzing of lights are distracting me. I was listening to music to block out everything else.

Today was going to be a day out of the house, to sit and write at a bookstore. Instead, I'm too tense to drive. Every pothole would be annoying, not to mention the struggle I have driving in our neighborhood anyway. The bookstore, with the people and associated input, would have been miserable.

I hate being tense like this. Three days of wanting to hide under covers and avoid the world.

Tomorrow I have to teach and Wednesday I'm heading to an audio store to replace my Jeep's radio and two speakers. I'll be tired, afterwards, but I do want to get the radio repaired. I notice static and problems with the speakers too much.

Sitting and listening to classical music helps. Sitting with the cats is good, too. The key is to realize I can't fight the sensitivity, but I can try to let fade.

The worst thing to do is to ponder upcoming conferences… which I would rather avoid, but are essential to my career if I remain in academia.

Back to caffeine-free chamomile tea and the cats.


  1. I like Tension Tamer Tea--it works better than chamomile for me personally.

    Do you schedule days like this for yourself between conferences? Sometimes it's just not feasible, but if you can, it might be worth it. And if you already do, then you are a wise person. It always takes me several times before I realize my limits.

  2. My wife anticipates my crashes before I do. I'm always overly optimistic that I will adapt better with each conference or event.


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