Skip to main content

Friends I Don't Have

A colleague recently mentioned that I don't seem to have typical friendships. I asked for clarification, and the explanation offered makes some sense to me. I suppose my wife and I don't have the same types of social connections as many of our acquaintances.

This colleague asked me several questions to illustrate his point:

  • When is the last time someone asked me/us to join that person/group, personally for no real reason? Facebook and Meetup groups don't count.
  • When is the last time you had dinner with someone, just to be with him or her?
  • When is the last time a friend was in your house?

My wife and I have dinner out just to spend time together. We obviously live in the same house. But, I can't think of the last time I just had dinner with someone. I think it was about two months ago that we had dinner with a local business owner and it was almost four months ago that we met up with two friends for dinner out.

I don't have random lunches with any friends. I cannot recall the last phone call that wasn't with a family member. What would I discuss with someone, other than work-related things?

We had a friend visit a year or two ago. He stayed with us in our previous house. Other than that, nobody just "drops by" and visits. About as close to that as we get is stopping to chat with neighbors while taking our walks in the evening. That's not quite the same.

Do other people really have chatty friendships? I do go out to see local plays. But, I also go alone and sit alone.

Am I "missing something" that helps others in life and business? Probably, but I like sitting here with my cats, writing.
Labels:

Comments

  1. farmwifetwoJuly 16, 2013 at 9:02 AM

    No.

    We have another couple that we go to dinner with. But all other outings for the most part are "business" in nature.

    Locally I don't have many close friends and no true BFF.

    Do I miss it... no... because even in highschool I only ever had a couple of close friends and I never felt comfortable as a group.

    All 4 of us are the same.

    ReplyDelete
  2. PaulaKJuly 17, 2013 at 7:17 PM

    I have chatty friendships but that doesn't mean I expect my husband to. I enjoy talking about things that don't interest him, so I understand. As far as "missing something", probably not. Although I desire illogical conversation and have benefited from it in a work environment...he does not partake in the sama and is doing just fine career wise.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Comments violating the policies of this blog will not be approved for posting. Language and content should be appropriate for all readers and maintain a polite tone. Thank you.

Popular posts from this blog

Autistic Burnout

Summer demands a lot of social energy, especially for parents. For autistics, the never-ending social calendar of summer can cause serious autistic burnout. Host C. S. Wyatt discusses his need to find a balance between social demands and self-care. Check out this episode!
Post a Comment
Read more

Autism, Asperger's, and IQ

"Aren't people with Asperger's more likely to be geniuses? Isn't genius related to autism?" A university student asked this in a course I am teaching. The class discussion was covering neurological differences, free will, and the nature versus nurture debate. The textbook for the course includes sidebars on the brain and behavior throughout chapters on ethics and morality. This student was asking a question reflecting media portrayals of autism spectrum disorders, social skills difficulties, and genius. I did not address this question from a personal perspective in class, but I have when speaking to groups of parents, educators, and caregivers. Some of the reasons these questions arise, as mentioned above, are media portrayals and news coverage of autism. Examples include: Television shows with gifted characters either identified with or assumed to have autistic traits: Alphas, Big Bang Theory, Bones, Rizzoli and Isles, Touch, and others. Some would include
12 comments
Read more

Weighted Blankets: Thoughts and Give Away!

When I was asked if I had an opinion on weighted blankets by the owner of DreamCatcher Weighted Blankets, I admitted that I don't really know much about the research on weighted blankets. However, I also admitted that I pile blankets and comforters on my bed. I happen to like quilts, comforters, blankets, and pillows. The more, the better. I'm not comfortable telling readers that weighted blankets or any other product "helps" children and adults with autism. I have no idea. What I can tell you is that I like to burrow under a nice pile of warm blankets and quilts every night. Disclaimer: DreamCatcher is offering to give away one weighted blanket to a reader of The Autistic Me. If you are interested, add a comment and I'll enter your name in a random drawing. On the first day of May, I'll post the name of the winner so he or she can contact me directly. If you want to learn about DreamCatcher's products: DreamCatcher Weighted Blankets P O Box 252 * Stevensv
27 comments
Read more