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Friends I Don't Have

A colleague recently mentioned that I don't seem to have typical friendships. I asked for clarification, and the explanation offered makes some sense to me. I suppose my wife and I don't have the same types of social connections as many of our acquaintances.

This colleague asked me several questions to illustrate his point:

  • When is the last time someone asked me/us to join that person/group, personally for no real reason? Facebook and Meetup groups don't count.
  • When is the last time you had dinner with someone, just to be with him or her?
  • When is the last time a friend was in your house?

My wife and I have dinner out just to spend time together. We obviously live in the same house. But, I can't think of the last time I just had dinner with someone. I think it was about two months ago that we had dinner with a local business owner and it was almost four months ago that we met up with two friends for dinner out.

I don't have random lunches with any friends. I cannot recall the last phone call that wasn't with a family member. What would I discuss with someone, other than work-related things?

We had a friend visit a year or two ago. He stayed with us in our previous house. Other than that, nobody just "drops by" and visits. About as close to that as we get is stopping to chat with neighbors while taking our walks in the evening. That's not quite the same.

Do other people really have chatty friendships? I do go out to see local plays. But, I also go alone and sit alone.

Am I "missing something" that helps others in life and business? Probably, but I like sitting here with my cats, writing.


  1. No.

    We have another couple that we go to dinner with. But all other outings for the most part are "business" in nature.

    Locally I don't have many close friends and no true BFF.

    Do I miss it... no... because even in highschool I only ever had a couple of close friends and I never felt comfortable as a group.

    All 4 of us are the same.

  2. I have chatty friendships but that doesn't mean I expect my husband to. I enjoy talking about things that don't interest him, so I understand. As far as "missing something", probably not. Although I desire illogical conversation and have benefited from it in a work environment...he does not partake in the sama and is doing just fine career wise.


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