Tonight, slightly after midnight, I e-mailed a second draft of my dissertation prospectus to my academic adviser. It was shy of 20K words, about 40 single-spaced pages.
It has been a long journey, certainly. The prelims, the oral exam, and now the dissertation. I won't make my goal of having the doctorate before 40 -- I'm already there -- but I will have it at 41. I guess that's not too bad, all things considered. There were several tangential journeys along the way.
Maybe it is too early, but I am wondering what might be next.
Uncertainty is uncomfortable. I like routines. School was a routine. Teaching was a routine.
There's the job hunt. There's the prospect of moving. There's uncertainty. In academia, if that's where I remain, there's the stress of trying to earn tenure. Anxiety.
But, at least I proved I can do it. I survived a graduate program. Now, to get the dissertation done, defended, and those letters Ph.D after my name. Then I can really worry about change.