This morning I awoke to Mimi and Alex purring next to me. It is overcast, which I like, and cool.
As I was doing the dishes, I thought about how fortunate we are right now. We have a house, incomplete as it is, the yard is looking much better this summer, and graduate school is over for both of us. In most ways, we are in pretty good shape.
The only thing bothering me is the same thing that has been an issue for two decades -- I'm not contributing much to our position.
Everything we have is because of my wife.
The plan was that I would locate a teaching post after graduate school. I would then be providing the income that would allow us additional security. We could settle down and relax a little. Instead, I'm unemployed with student loans looming over us.
I'm working to pitch more writing. I've tried working on an autism book, but I don't know what I have to express that is original. My monthly column and other projects are only a few dollars here and there. I'm going to search for more freelance opportunities.
Until I'm earning a genuine "living" I have to be thankful I have such a great wife… but she does deserve more.
I feel I owe everything to my SO (boyfriend doesn't begin to describe him and we are not legally married) as well. I'd be in big trouble without him as I always need help with some things and he seems to understand that. I tend to be unemployed an awful lot and I always make less then he does because I cannot seem to handle more than a 24 hour workweek right now. I also very much appreciate being reminded of the mundane things that I need to do that would go undone without a little push sometimes. He deserves so much and I hope I am giving at least some of what he deserves to him.
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