Twenty Years Ago...

The cliché is that I am supposed to "learn" from the last 20 years. At least I have a great wife and cool cats… but it has been a long 20 years since leaving USC. I believe 1988-89 was the last "good" year. (Like many people, I still view a "year" in academic terms.)

I need to get back to the path I was on then: writing and more writing. I stopped giving my all to the journalism and English programs my last year at USC. I quit the Daily Trojan, ended my journalism internships, and shifted to the school of education for several complex reasons (including hubris). The basic thought was that teaching would be a secure "second choice" since I decided against journalism as my career path. I still love journalism, but I know I'm opinionated and passionate about the topics I might enjoy covering. Of course, a columnist or analyst can be opinionated, so there's hope.

I have been unable to focus since leaving L.A. in Dec 1990. I did finish the English and journalism degrees, at least, before leaving USC. I didn't complete my student teaching, so I never obtained a "clear" teaching credential.

Every few years, I remind myself that I am a writer. Period. I've tried too hard to be something else in return for elusive "security" that never materialized. Drifting from writing, in the name of security, has never produced happiness. Instead, I end up anxious. For a time, I blamed the impulse to write, as if it was my passion for language that made me miserable.

USC was an opportunity squandered by youthful pride. I wanted to prove something to people who shouldn't have mattered to my self-worth. My dream was the LA Times or SF Chronicle. Never, never give up a dream to prove a point -- you'll neither prove the point nor find happiness.

I've spent most of 2010 writing again. Now, I am swearing to not surrender that passion to "security." If I'm going to succeed at something, it will be writing related.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Autism, Asperger's, and IQ

Listen… and Help Others Hear

Life Updates: The MFA Sprint