Exhaustion and Autism

I've been working at my computer the last few days, while my limbs are in palsy mode and words take too much effort. When I am tired, it is difficult to control my body. Many autistics I've met tell me the same thing. This is also true for people I know with other physical challenges.

I have a history of mild seizures, migraines, palsy, and other annoying physical challenges. And because I'm exhausted, these issues are starting to overwhelm my ability to focus. Worse, my heart sometimes races and "bounces" with an irregular beat under stress. The tingling sensations are unnerving, at best, and keep me on guard. The doctor tells me the tingling is from anemia, for which I've had to receive blood transfusions in the past. My body is often the biggest obstacle to following through with my ideas.

Autism seems to come with more than one or two challenges. But, those challenges can be addressed. We can learn to navigate around our bodies, with some help and effort. If a situation causes headaches or seizures, I learn to avoid the situation. If I can't deal with something, why put myself at risk? The intelligent approach is to avoid anything potentially dangerous to my wellbeing. Of course, you can't avoid all risks.

Then, when I'm in gripe and whine mode like this, I turn on the Science Channel and see Dr. Hawking "talking" with a computer and discussing the mysterious energy that emits from black holes. Hawking doesn't complain. He doesn't surrender to his body. And he has a lot tougher situation than I do.

The key to remaining sane is to remind myself that my life is pretty great. But, when you're tired it is easy to slip into the whine and gripe mode.

In a few days, with a bit of sleep, I'll be back to normal. Okay, a lot of sleep.


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