The lumbar radiculopathy, which sounds too much like "ridiculously" for me, hasn't faded completely. My left leg still cramps, tingles, and hurts with sharp pains. My mind remains cloudy, too, even as I stop taking painkillers for the back pain and a recent surgery.
Efforts to reboot and get back on track intellectually, physically, and emotionally are off to a slow, grinding start. It reminds me of an old 80286 PC, the infamously confused Intel CPU that wasn't sure what it was meant to be. And this was before the "SX" fiascos, which wedded 32-bit CPU cores with 16-bit connections. The 80286 was supposed to be able to multitask, but design flaws resulted in a first-generation that was useless to operating system vendors.
My back, my knees, my ankles are each making noises like those old computers.
If I haven't already lost you as a reader, the basic problem is that my mind cannot focus on one task for long without exhaustion and multitasking seems impossible. I'm in 286 mode.
The old 80286 and early 386 machines came with slow, loud hard drives. The floppy drives would also start on power-up, the heads moving along their rails with squeaks and whirrs. The noises were slightly reassuring, since the machine was at least starting. Then again, the grinding could go very wrong, too.
I am trying to reboot before 2017. Let us hope that happens.
Efforts to reboot and get back on track intellectually, physically, and emotionally are off to a slow, grinding start. It reminds me of an old 80286 PC, the infamously confused Intel CPU that wasn't sure what it was meant to be. And this was before the "SX" fiascos, which wedded 32-bit CPU cores with 16-bit connections. The 80286 was supposed to be able to multitask, but design flaws resulted in a first-generation that was useless to operating system vendors.
My back, my knees, my ankles are each making noises like those old computers.
If I haven't already lost you as a reader, the basic problem is that my mind cannot focus on one task for long without exhaustion and multitasking seems impossible. I'm in 286 mode.
The old 80286 and early 386 machines came with slow, loud hard drives. The floppy drives would also start on power-up, the heads moving along their rails with squeaks and whirrs. The noises were slightly reassuring, since the machine was at least starting. Then again, the grinding could go very wrong, too.
I am trying to reboot before 2017. Let us hope that happens.
How's your protective mode going?
ReplyDeleteI understand well. Not easy to be a Pentium or something faster than that all the time. Sometimes, I wish my mind wasn't going 100 mph. I am an autistic adult and self-advocate. Scott
ReplyDeleteI understand well. Not easy to be a Pentium or something faster than that all the time. Sometimes, I wish my mind wasn't going 100 mph. I am an autistic adult and self-advocate. Scott
ReplyDelete