I don't get random emails, messages, or phone calls from people asking, "What are you doing tonight?" I can't recall the last personal, non-work message, that was not initiated by me. People don't reach out to me without a reason.
Several people have said I make others uncomfortable one-on-one. Lecturing? Public speaking? Those are not a problem. But there is something "off" with my interpersonal skills.
Even if I had great social skills, I would I spend time alone so I could write and be creative. I know socially adept introverts. Wanting space doesn't mean you are socially awkward. Of course, I am so socially inept and an introvert. So, on the rare occasions when I do want to hang out, the options are my wife and the cats.
This is on my mind tonight because someone asked if my wife had any friends. "Since you don't have real friends, I wondered if she did."
The successful people I know are socially adept. We are not.
I like to get out of the house, and I crave intellectual stimulation, but I am not comfortable in social situations. My wife is my social connection. That might not be best for her.
Knowing I make others uneasy, with my intensity or whatever it is, I'd rather be alone most of the time. Being alone isn't the same as being lonely. But what if my wife is lonely? That is a reasonable concern.