Why I Desire Social Skills
I don't feel "lonely" most of the time, I feel isolated. That's different. I don't want to deal with people, I want to do things that too often require dealing with people -- leaving me stuck at home some days. People for me are ways to gain knowledge and data; I am interested in people with knowledge I don't posses yet want want to learn. I don't care to be social for no reason. Even with a reason, I'd rather skip the social elements.
I've written that I do sometimes wish to be more social. Though hard to explain, I perceive there would be intellectual benefits -- people would be more comfortable sharing information with me if I were more "charming." So, when I say I wish I were more socially skilled, it is not because I miss the skills or want them for enjoyment, but I wish I could persuade more people with skills and knowledge I admire to be mentors.
My wife is not social, either, but she does much better with people than I do. She is in field that values skills and creativity over social abilities. Engineers can talk for hours about improving a design, debating and questioning the proposed solutions. It helps to have some social skills, but brilliance is valued more. This might be why the sciences were always appealing to me and others with ASDs.
Sitting at home day after day does get tiring. It isn't people I seek out, though, but a change of scenery. That's why I do leave the house when I can. It isn't because I like dealing with driving (I hate it) or people in a new setting, but my mind craves a chance to see something other than the same walls every day. If I were a bit more financially secure, I'd leave the house a bit more often to focus on my writing elsewhere. That's not seeking out people, but it is trying to end the sense of isolation; home can feel like a trap.